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Do you agree that people should always participate in the activities that they are good at or talented in

Do you agree that people should always participate in the activities that they are good at or talented in DlaxA
In today’s crowded world people need to pay more attention to themselves. If we know our self we can live better and also help others too, one way to achieve this for us is that we know our talents and passions. In this way we will have an important impact in our societies. Some people believes that talent is inheritance, but other believe that we can achive it during our life. There are many examples for both claims. But I support the later claim. You can find your passion in different stage of your personal life. And when you participate in an activity that is your favorite you will do it more efficient compare to others, even recent studies approve my sentence. When you start a job that is your goal for a while you can improve in it; in a faster pace and this usually ended very good for individuals who follow this path. An example for this is Cristiano Ronaldo, he himself admited that when he started football, there were people who keep saying to him that he can not become a professional football player but he followed his passion and did what he was good at; and now he is an idol for lots of kids around the globe. The next reason is about time, it is an ineviteble fact that we do not have all the time that we wished for. So by keeping this fact in our mind we have to be more precise and carefull about our choices, because these choices can either elevate us or destroy us. so although some people might choose the low risk options, I prefer to choose an option that I’m good at. And spend my time in it because this way I feel more relaxed and less anxious. In the end if you ask an eldery what is the biggest regret of your life, one of the first things he or she says is this fact that do not waste your time on things that are not your passion. In conclusion, the world is a big place and in this place you got two options to follow; one is easier than the other So it is your responsibility to choose carefully and follow a path that you fell it’s suit you the most. Maybe it’s sound cliche but you have to follow your dreams and believe me in the end you are the person who became an important in his fields.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s crowded world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to pay more attention to themselves. If we know our self we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others too, one way to achieve this for us is that we know our talents and passions. In this way we will have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact in our societies.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that talent is inheritance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
believe that we can
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
it during our life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples for both claims.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I support the later claim. You can find your passion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stage of your personal life. And when you participate in an activity
that is
your favorite you will do it more efficient compare to others, even recent studies approve my sentence. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a job
that is
your goal for a while you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in it; in a faster pace and this
usually
ended
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for individuals who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
this path. An example for this is Cristiano Ronaldo, he himself
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "admitted", the past tense form of the verb 'admit'?
admited
that when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
football, there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
saying to him that he can not become a professional football player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he followed his passion and did what he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at; and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is an idol for lots of kids around the globe.

The
next
reason is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
ineviteble
fact that we do not have all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we wished for.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
by keeping this fact in our mind we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more precise and
Possible spelling mistake found.
carefull
about our choices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these choices can either elevate us or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might choose the low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
options, I prefer to choose an option that I’m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at. And spend my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this way I feel more relaxed and less anxious. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
if you ask an
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldery
what is the biggest regret of your life, one of the
first
things he or she says is this fact that do not waste your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on things that are not your passion.

In conclusion
, the world is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
place and in this place you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
two options to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
; one is easier than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is your responsibility to choose
carefully
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a path that you fell
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
suit you the most. Maybe it’s sound
'cliche' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cliché"
cliche
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
your dreams and believe me in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
you are the person who became an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in his fields.

IELTS essay Do you agree that people should always participate in the activities that they are good at or talented in

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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