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Juvenile commiting crimes

More and more cases of juveniles committing crimes these days are registered due to the fact that now their parents, especially mother, is at work. In this essay, I will either agree or disagree with this statement. Firstly, I will discuss the social circle that affects a child's behaviour and secondly, I will explore the positives of working guardians. It is true that any human being under age of 18 is adapting to new situations and anomalies of his/her surroundings and parents (especially mother) helps their new born to help explore the horizons of this world. And if the guardian is not at home, sometimes, in lots of cases, they put their child in day care or under a surveillance. Therefore, under the eye of parent, not directly, the child is still getting the proper attention and authority that assures him to be disciplined. So, I totally disagree that working of a parent can harm the caring of an underage child. To elaborate further, the child develops certain habits at this age and when put into good social acceptable environment, the juvenile can definitely prosper. On the other hand, economic prosperity is also a factor as work brings home money which can then lead to good lifestyle or a further degree for the child. Furthermore, more the parents are away from home, it will give the juvenile time to learn things such as being independent and work towards hobbies which can be done when parents are not around like, cooking for them or cleaning the lawn. Adding to that, children nowadays have smartphones to keep them busy, ofcourse guardians can put some site-blockers on the device so that the smartphone is used for homework and research purposes. In conclusion, children nowadays are prone to their surroundings and therefore parents should be involved in keeping their social circle good, and, a little involved in their upbringing as to give them a feeling of authority and independence.
More and more cases of juveniles committing crimes these days
are registered
due to the fact that
now
their
parents
,
especially
mother, is at work. In this essay, I will either
agree
or disagree with this statement.
Firstly
, I will discuss the social circle that affects a child's behaviour and
secondly
, I will explore the positives of working guardians.

It is true that any human being under age of 18 is adapting to new situations and anomalies of his/her surroundings and
parents
(
especially
mother)
helps
their new born to
help
explore the horizons of this world. And if the guardian is not at home,
sometimes
, in lots of cases, they put their
child
in day care or under a surveillance.
Therefore
, under the eye of
parent
, not
directly
, the
child
is
still
getting the proper attention and authority that assures him to
be disciplined
.
So
, I
totally
disagree that working of a
parent
can harm the caring of an underage
child
. To elaborate
further
, the
child
develops certain habits at this age and when put into
good
social acceptable environment, the juvenile can definitely prosper.

On the other hand
, economic prosperity is
also
a factor as work brings home money which can then lead to
good
lifestyle or a
further
degree for the
child
.
Furthermore
, more the
parents
are away from home, it will give the juvenile time to learn things such as being independent and work towards hobbies which can
be done
when
parents
are not around like, cooking for them or cleaning the lawn. Adding to that, children nowadays have smartphones to
keep
them busy, ofcourse guardians can put
some
site-blockers on the device
so
that the smartphone is
used
for homework and research purposes.

In conclusion
, children nowadays are prone to their surroundings and
therefore
parents
should
be involved
in keeping their social circle
good
, and, a
little
involved in their upbringing as to give them a feeling of authority and independence.
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IELTS essay Juvenile commiting crimes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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