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Its advatages or disadvantages: The government bans alcohol consumption?

Its advatages or disadvantages: The government bans alcohol consumption? MM86N
In our society alcholol is considered as the main element when it comes to celebration. The act of the government imposing a ban on alcoholic drinks may face different reactions from the public. There are myriad pros, which include saving the youth and decreasing health issues in adults, of this decision while there are also multifarious cons, such as reduces taxes and unemployment for those running these businesses. From my perspective, there are more benefits to this in comparison to the drawbacks. To embark upon, imposing a ban on alcoholic drinks could result in low tax collection for the government. To elucidate, there are great taxes on these goods which contribute to a large amount of the national fund. To state an example, in some countries like India alcohol business contributes 25 per cent to the economy of the country. In addition, this decision will create unemployment for the wine shop owners. There are people who support their families by running wine shops because of the lack of education they will be incapable to earn a living. For instance, there were nearly 2, 50, 000 unemployed people when Kerela decided to become a dry state in India. Hence, it is a tough decision and needs expects to find alternative options. Conversely, many teenagers are involved in drinking whisky and are getting addicted to it. Moreover, the business owners are irresponsibly selling this commodity to youth even though they are below the required age. For example, a research conducted by students of the University of Mexico shows that around 70 per cent of people drinking hard drinks have been drinking since the age of 16. Furthermore, alcoholic drinks have an adverse effect on the health of consumers. The reason being, such drinks if used on regular basis results in damaging the body organs. To illustrate, most people drinking whisky and vodka are diagnosed with liver failure. Therefore, imposing a restriction on the sale of hard drinks can prove to be a responsible decision. In conclusion, This essay shows that there are both advantages and disadvantages of stopping alcohol sale. In my opinion, the decision of imposing a ban has more benefits on a larger scale whereas the drawbacks can be overcome by certain remedies.
In our society
Possible spelling mistake found.
alcholol
is considered
as the main element when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to celebration. The act of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
a ban on alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reactions from the public. There are myriad pros, which include saving the youth and decreasing health issues in adults, of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
while there are
also
multifarious cons, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
taxes and unemployment for those running these businesses. From my perspective, there are more benefits to this
in comparison
to the drawbacks.

To embark upon,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
a ban on alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
could result in low tax collection for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. To elucidate, there are great taxes on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which contribute to a large amount of the national fund.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
state an example, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries like India alcohol business contributes 25 per cent to the economy of the country.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
will create unemployment for the wine shop owners. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support their families by running wine shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of education they will be incapable to earn a living.
For instance
, there were
nearly
2, 50, 000 unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kerela
decided to become a dry state in India.
Hence
, it is a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
to find alternative options.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
Possible spelling mistake. 'whisky' is British English.
whisky
and are getting addicted to it.
Moreover
, the business owners are
irresponsibly
selling this commodity to youth
even though
they are below the required age.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by students of the University of Mexico
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that around 70 per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
since the age of 16.
Furthermore
, alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
have an adverse effect on the health of consumers. The reason being, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on regular basis results in damaging the body organs. To illustrate, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
Possible spelling mistake. 'whisky' is British English.
whisky
and vodka
are diagnosed
with liver failure.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
a restriction on the sale of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
can prove to be a responsible decision.

In conclusion
, This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there are both advantages and disadvantages of stopping alcohol sale. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
a ban has more benefits on a larger scale whereas the drawbacks can
be overcome
by certain remedies.
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IELTS essay Its advatages or disadvantages: The government bans alcohol consumption?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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