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It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed?

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? p3WL
Obesity in society is unquestionably one of the worrying aspects in today’s life. People habitual are more focused towards fast foods. Facts behind the preference is basically in terms of easiness, cheap and less time to make. Increase in the demand of fast-food restaurants in society is a tangible evidence. Society compared with ancient days are preferred to cook themselves whereas current trend pointing towards junk foods. Its quite a concern that obesity in the society can be reduced to certain extent by means of implying high tax rates. Yes, for instance A salad cost in average restaurant is likely to be 5$. Perhaps the cost of a burger is 35% cheaper than making a salad. People are well known aware about the advantages having a salad as well as disadvantages of a burger. Bearing in mind, 80 % of people intend to prefer burger in terms of afford ableness and the taste intensifier added to it. Amplifying tax rate might slash down the rates to certain level. Nevertheless, people who got less sound in financial background end up with adverse effect in their own lifestyle. In other words, a person who work under daily wage category will suffer the most while implying high tax rates strategy. Eventually will turn up to a situation like scarcity of food, unemployment, and so on… Capping up the scenario under my perception, constitution should imply high tax rates especially the fast-food restaurant cycle. At the same time government must impose the subsidization for healthy foods like salad, fruits etc. Hence by creating the nation to become healthier and stronger Moreover the Word OBESITY can only be found in Dictionary not in other means
Obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
unquestionably
one of the worrying aspects in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
habitual are more focused towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods. Facts behind the preference is
basically
in terms of easiness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and less time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. Increase in the demand of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is a tangible evidence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
compared with ancient days
are preferred
to cook themselves whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend pointing towards junk foods.

Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
quite a concern that obesity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to certain extent by means of implying high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. Yes,
for instance
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salad
cost in average restaurant is likely to be
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$5".
5$
. Perhaps the cost of a burger is 35% cheaper than making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salad
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are well known aware about the advantages having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salad
as well
as disadvantages of a burger. Bearing in mind, 80 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intend to prefer burger in terms of afford
Possible spelling mistake found.
ableness
and the taste intensifier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to it. Amplifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
might slash down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
to certain level.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less sound in financial background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with adverse effect in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lifestyle.
In other words
, a person who work under daily wage category will suffer the most while implying high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
strategy.
Eventually
will turn up to a situation like scarcity of food, unemployment, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on…

Capping up the scenario under my perception, constitution should imply high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
especially
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurant cycle. At the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose the subsidization for healthy foods like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salad
, fruits etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
by creating the nation to become healthier and stronger
Moreover
the Word OBESITY can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in Dictionary not in other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
means
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IELTS essay It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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