Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. GMJe2
There is nowadays a growing concern regarding obesity, especially in youth. Accordingly, some people advocate governments ought to make laws against sugary drinks and fast food establishments as well as take other steps to fight against obesity and protect children's well-being since it is their responsibility. I believe, however, that it is a parents' and schools' duty to educate children about this issue because teens spend more time at home and school. As teens consider their parents' role model, it is a parents' responsibility to teach their offsprings about a healthy diet as well as about their well-being. This is because not only do children spend more time with their parents, and they often copy their parents' actions so, if parents eat unhealthy food, their offsprings surely eat the same food. Take an example of parents who consume pizza with high calories every day, and their kids thus think of it as regular healthy food, thereby consuming it as well, so children often inmate the habits of parents and will do same in the future. In order to keep children healthy, parents should eat healthily. Hence, it is a parents' duty to protect children's health, not the government. Furthermore, schools can also educate their pupil about their health since children spend 7 to 8 hours in school. Having a physical education course in school makes children more conscious about their well-being. In conclusion, taking care of children health is not a governments' duty, but it is a parents' and educational institutions responsibility to make children aware of their health.
There is nowadays a growing concern regarding obesity,
especially
in youth.
Accordingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
laws against sugary drinks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
establishments
as well
as take other steps to fight against obesity and protect children's well-being since it is their responsibility. I believe,
however
, that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
and schools' duty to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teens spend more time at home and school.

As teens consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
role model, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
responsibility to teach their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
about a healthy diet
as well
as about their well-being. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
eat unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
surely
eat the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Take an example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who consume pizza with high calories every day, and their kids
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it as regular healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, thereby consuming it
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
inmate the habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and will do same in the future. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
healthy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should eat
healthily
.
Hence
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
duty to protect children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Furthermore
, schools can
also
educate their pupil about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend 7 to 8 hours in school. Having a physical education course in school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more conscious about their well-being.

In conclusion
, taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' duty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
and educational
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "institutions'" or "institution's"?
institutions
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.