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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation? 2Yyk
It is true that there has been an increase in juvenile delinquency. There are many reasons for this, but this phenomenon should be addressed in some effective ways. There are three primary reasons why the rate of juvenile crime is higher these days. The first prominent justification is that the violent and sexual images gain in popularity in social media as there are not sufficient workforce for censoring these kinds of information in a huge amount. Furthermore, the more working people there are, the more their children do not receive parents’ attention, which means that they are prone to be exposed to bad things on the Internet. Last but not least, committing a crime could be considered as a fast way for teenagers to draw their parents’ attention. For example, the youngsters sometimes simply think that only when they do not comply with the rules, will their parents take more care of them, rather than imagining a potentially bad perspective for their future. There are several actions that the government and enterprises could take to solve the problem described above. The first solution is that authorities could introduce the regulations on information on the Internet with the assistance of individual enterprises. Firms in the future could likely make a great contribution to the process of censoring violent and sexual content via creating applications dedicated for children only or automatically filtering the sensitive information on the Internet. The second solution is that policymakers should reduce working hours to helps parents have a more balanced lifestyle and spend more time on their children, which could prevent the root of juvenile delinquency. The final solution could be that public measures should be concentrated on the psychology of teenagers, which has not been a priority of children’s education in developing countries. In conclusion, although there are some causes of the increasing crime rates in teenagers and this tendency is detrimental to our society seriously, some feasible measures can be taken to address the problem.
It is true that there has been an increase in juvenile delinquency. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this phenomenon should
be addressed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective ways.

There are three primary reasons why the rate of juvenile crime is higher these days. The
first
prominent justification is that the violent and sexual images gain in popularity in social media as there are not sufficient workforce for censoring these kinds of information in a huge amount.
Furthermore
, the more working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there are, the more their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
attention, which means that they are prone to
be exposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things on the Internet. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, committing a crime could
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to draw their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
attention.
For example
, the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they do not comply with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, will their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take more care of them,
rather
than imagining a
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
perspective for their future.

There are several actions that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and enterprises could take to solve the problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. The
first
solution is that authorities could introduce the regulations on information on the Internet with the assistance of individual enterprises. Firms in the future could likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great contribution to the process of censoring violent and sexual content via creating applications dedicated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
or
automatically
filtering the sensitive information on the Internet. The second solution is that policymakers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
working hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a more balanced lifestyle and spend more time on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the root of juvenile delinquency. The final solution could be that public measures should
be concentrated
on the psychology of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, which has not been a priority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of the increasing crime rates in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and this tendency is detrimental to our society
seriously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible measures can
be taken
to address the problem.
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IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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