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It is often stated by many people that money is considered to be the most important contributing factor towards happiness. But, this essay agrees that people can still be happy even with much less money. As there are certainly other vital ways in creating happiness. Undoubtedly, money can bring happiness to lots of people, but it does not mean that people without money are therefore unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement, people from developed nations generally agree that citizens of developing countries are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their lives and have more strong family connections. One way that people can gain happiness is through work. For instance, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have very little money, But the reward earn by helping people brings inner happiness. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills trained for and through job satisfaction. Moreover, charitable organisations in developed nations r

It is often stated by many people that money is considered to be the most important contributing factor towards happiness. But, this essay agrees that people can still be happy even with much less money. As there are certainly other vital ways in creating happiness. Undoubtedly, money can bring happiness to lots of people, but it does not mean that people without money are therefore unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement, people from developed nations generally agree that citizens of developing countries are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their lives and have more strong family connections. One way that people can gain happiness is through work. For instance, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have very little money, But the reward earn by helping people brings inner happiness. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills trained for and through job satisfaction. Moreover, charitable organisations in developed nations r AjjYl
It is often stated by many people that money is considered to be the most important contributing factor towards happiness. But, this essay agrees that people can still be happy even with much less money. As there are certainly other vital ways in creating happiness. Undoubtedly, money can bring happiness to lots of people, but it does not mean that people without money are therefore unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement, people from developed nations generally agree that citizens of developing countries are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their lives and have more strong family connections. One way that people can gain happiness is through work. For instance, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have very little money, But the reward earn by helping people brings inner happiness. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills trained for and through job satisfaction. Moreover, charitable organisations in developed nations run volunteer services to provide self-reassurance for people dealing with isolation and lack of happiness. Finally, another factor that can bring happiness is having a loving and supportive family in one's life. While money may bring opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few people would enjoy them on their own. Being surrounded by loving and caring people is considered by most masses more valuable than any amount of money. In conclusion, money is not essential for happiness, which can be found through family connections and job satisfaction. If people strived towards more happiness than money, definitely this world would be a peaceful place to live.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is considered
to be the most
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important
contributing factor towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
still
be happy even with much less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
there are
certainly
other vital ways in creating happiness.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
therefore
unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developed nations
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that citizens of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and have more strong family connections.

One way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is through work.
For instance
, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the reward earn by helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
inner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be found
by using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
trained for and through job satisfaction.
Moreover
, charitable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in developed nations run volunteer services to provide self-reassurance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dealing with isolation and lack of happiness.

Finally
, another factor that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is having a loving and supportive family in one's life. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would enjoy them on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Being surrounded
by loving and caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is considered
by most masses more valuable than any amount of money.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, which can
be found
through family connections and job satisfaction. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strived towards more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, definitely this world would be a peaceful place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay It is often stated by many people that money is considered to be the most important contributing factor towards happiness. But, this essay agrees that people can still be happy even with much less money. As there are certainly other vital ways in creating happiness. Undoubtedly, money can bring happiness to lots of people, but it does not mean that people without money are therefore unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement, people from developed nations generally agree that citizens of developing countries are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their lives and have more strong family connections. One way that people can gain happiness is through work. For instance, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have very little money, But the reward earn by helping people brings inner happiness. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills trained for and through job satisfaction. Moreover, charitable organisations in developed nations r

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • It is often stated by many people that money is considered to be the most important contributing factor towards happiness. But, this essay agrees that people can still be happy even with much less money. As there are certainly other vital ways in creating happiness. Undoubtedly, money can bring happiness to lots of people, but it does not mean that people without money are therefore unhappy. To cite an example that will support this statement, people from developed nations generally agree that citizens of developing countries are happier, take more pleasure in the simplicity of their lives and have more strong family connections. One way that people can gain happiness is through work. For instance, Doctor working in underdeveloped countries may have very little money, But the reward earn by helping people brings inner happiness. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills trained for and through job satisfaction. Moreover, charitable organisations in developed nations r