Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is often argued that providing vaccine to kids is irrelevant as well as harmful. However, I am convinced that vaccinating individual at an early stage is necessary and advantageous.

It is often argued that providing vaccine to kids is irrelevant as well as harmful. However, I am convinced that vaccinating individual at an early stage is necessary and advantageous. LreEr
First of all, I believe that vaccines provide children protection from life threatening diseases. Even if they are subjected to adverse climate and condition in the future, they will not be affected by it due to the medicine injected in their body at early stage. A good illustration of this has recently published by World Health Organization as studies find that people who are subjected to vaccine at early period of their life, are most likely to keep themselves away from various maladies. Thus, immunizing the body at an early stage merely affected the children from various diseases as well as gives protection in their future life. Secondly, vaccination makes children healthy. To put it more simply, children are used to be physically sound if they are vaccinated within a certain period of time. Moreover, vaccine helps children with their growth by boosting their immune system. For example, recent studies show that almost 90% children in the UK are used to be physically good because of their proper vaccination system while in Africa children suffer a lot of diseases due to their lack of immunization facilities. Therefore, in order to stay healthy, vaccines are very much needed for children. To sum up, I completely opine that vaccination at an early stage is very much essential because it not only gives protection from many harmful diseases but also helps children to stay healthy by increasing their immunity system.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
protection from life threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. Even if they
are subjected
to adverse climate and condition in the future, they will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it due to the medicine injected in their body at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this has recently published by World Health Organization as studies find that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are subjected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
period of their life, are most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves away from various maladies.
Thus
, immunizing the body at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
as well
as gives protection in their future life.

Secondly
, vaccination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
healthy. To put it more
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
physically
sound if they
are vaccinated
within a certain period of time.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their growth by boosting their immune system.
For example
, recent studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that almost 90%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the UK are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their proper vaccination system while in Africa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
due to their lack of immunization facilities.
Therefore
, in order to stay healthy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
for children.

To sum up, I completely opine that vaccination at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives protection from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay healthy by increasing their immunity system.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is often argued that providing vaccine to kids is irrelevant as well as harmful. However, I am convinced that vaccinating individual at an early stage is necessary and advantageous.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts