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It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

These days, because of the enhancement of technology, people can simply know about trends and detailed information about other cultures. There are two approaches to learn about other cultures, those are either traveling to other places or watching films, reading books, and surfing the internet. However, those are controversial issues that traveling is essential or not. In my opinion, both approaches are equally interesting and useful, however, personal differences vary. Despite many challenges, visiting distant places around the world could be very beneficial. Moreover, it allows people to further acquire about how other societies live such as language, social life, traditional food, and their behavior. For instance, Indonesia is a diverse nation that has many tribes with various languages and social cultures, and so forth, and one of these is ethnic Badui. Badui communities have not been reached by technology or other contemporary stuff, they dwell with very conventional things such as neither electricity nor media electronic. They undergo their pure with their own rules and culture and one of these is to be not influenced by the modern era, fortunately, they allow other people to come to their place for seeing how they live and we can learn about their culture too. In contrast, people are unlikely to visit all of the nations around the world, because it could cost a lot of money and effort. Furthermore, globalization made everything possible, and knowing about any area in the world does not take much time, money, and energy. For example, social media makes it easy to be in trends such as watching fashion week, sports competitions, and concerts. Consequently, it is possible to learn just as much about the world from books, films, and the internet. To conclude, although it is believed that it is essential to roam around different regions of the globe to get some knowledge about cultural variations only by books, films, and the internet, but visiting removed places to know more about other's life is essential also.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the enhancement of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
simply
know about trends and detailed information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. There are two approaches to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, those are either traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or watching films, reading books, and surfing the internet.
However
, those are controversial issues that traveling is essential or not. In my opinion, both approaches are
equally
interesting and useful,
however
, personal differences vary. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges, visiting distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
further
acquire about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
such as language, social life, traditional food, and their behavior.
For instance
, Indonesia is a diverse nation that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tribes with various languages and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, and one of these is ethnic
Possible spelling mistake found.
Badui
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Badui
communities have not
been reached
by technology or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
contemporary stuff, they dwell with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conventional things such as neither electricity nor media electronic. They undergo their pure with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and one of these is to be not influenced by the modern era,
fortunately
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for seeing how they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
live and
we can learn about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
too.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unlikely to visit
Consider using "all the".
all of the
nations around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and effort.
Furthermore
, globalization made everything possible, and knowing about any area in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
does not take much time, money, and energy.
For example
, social media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to be in trends such as watching fashion week, sports competitions, and concerts.
Consequently
, it is possible to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as much about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
from books, films, and the internet.
To conclude
, although it
is believed
that it is essential to roam around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge about cultural variations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by books, films, and the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
visiting removed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to know more about other's life is essential
also
.
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IELTS essay It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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