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It is irrefutable that we live in a world in which education play an increasingly pivotal role in the development of country’s literacy and culture.

It is irrefutable that we live in a world in which education play an increasingly pivotal role in the development of country’s literacy and culture. n6eLe
It is irrefutable that we live in a world in which education play an increasingly pivotal role in the development of country’s literacy and culture. The issue of appreciation of the teachers in society arouses much controversy among people with different perspective and background. Nowadays some may hold the opinion that the station of the teacher in the society has been better than the past. Others may have the negative attitude toward it. As far as I am concerned, I agree that the value and the station of the teacher in the past was in the higher degree in contrast to now. My argument for this point are listed as follows. In the first place, the most important reason for me to choose this point is students now have lack of interest for being a teacher for their future career. In my country, Iran everyone who want to participate in entrance exam of the university, predict that he/she will accept in the field of medical. There are many reasons for this point for example take a doctor of medical as an example. Nowadays a doctor of medical has a high wage (10000 $ per month) that it is not compare with the teacher’s wage (1000 $ per month). So it is clear that students will choose to be a doctor rather than a teacher. So in my country, the monetary security has made the students to not select to be a teacher. In second place, today, the government doesn’t consider the teacher’s right. Teachers must be noticed based on their crucial effect in the preparation of the student that they are the future force of every society. Government must pay more attention to providing their needs to give them the convenient space to better education. For example, the teacher need more budget to update the way of the education like teach with projector, using electronic material to better understanding of the students. The last has done in iran, shows that the 50 % of the iranian teachers are still teaching with the method of the education the turns to 50 years ago. So the teacher without any attention from the government especially in recent years shows that they have very low value in my country. Taking account all of these factors, I conclude that unfortunately the teachers have low value and appreciation in contrast to the past. They have the lowest wage between the other jobs that makes student to not choose being a teacher in their future career. Also the government take no attention to their initial right og better education confirm my claim.
It is irrefutable that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
an
increasingly
pivotal role in the development of country’s literacy and culture.

The issue of appreciation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in society arouses much controversy among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective and background.

Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that the station of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the society has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the past. Others may have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude toward it. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the value and the station of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the past was in the higher degree
in contrast
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. My argument for this point
are listed
as follows.

In the
first
place, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for me to choose this point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have lack of interest for being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
for their future career. In my country, Iran everyone who want to participate in entrance exam of the university, predict that he/she will accept in the field of medical. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this point
for example
take a doctor of medical as an example. Nowadays a doctor of medical has a high wage (
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10000".
10000 $
per month) that it is not compare with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
wage (
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000 $
per month).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will choose to be a doctor
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my country, the monetary security has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to not select to be a teacher.

In second place,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doesn’t consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
right.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be noticed
based on their crucial effect in the preparation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
that they are the future force of every society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay more attention to providing their needs to give them the convenient space to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education.

For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
need more budget to update the way of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
like teach with projector, using electronic material to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The last has done in
Possible spelling mistake found.
iran
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the 50 % of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
still
teaching with the method of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
the turns to 50 years ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
without any attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
especially
in recent years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low value in my country.

Taking account all of these factors, I conclude that unfortunately the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have low value and appreciation
in contrast
to the past. They have the lowest wage between the other jobs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to not choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in their future career.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take no attention to their initial right
Possible spelling mistake found.
og
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
confirm my claim.
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IELTS essay It is irrefutable that we live in a world in which education play an increasingly pivotal role in the development of country’s literacy and culture.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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