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It is better for children to choose the job that is very similar to their parent than to choose a completely different job explain your answers with reasons

It is better for children to choose the job that is very similar to their parent than to choose a completely different job explain your answers with reasons 0Amm1
By and large it is established beyond doubt that people adopt different ways for their living. In this regard, choosing a career is of paramount importance. There has been no shortage of debate amongst scholars on weather people should choose a job entirely different from their parents, or they contemplates to follow up on their parents' step. As for writers opinion, I subscribe to the later idea. In what follows, I will delve into most crucial reasons to substantiate my viewpoint. The first reason coming to my mind to elucidate my point of view is associated with the idea that if children choose a profession similar to their parents, they will have complete guidance and support of their guardians. To be more specific, parents can supports them and direct them to the path of their success. Vividly, it will enhance their knowledge as parents are expertise in their field and children can get benefit from their knowledge by improving and learning from them. My experience on this is influenced by my compelling example. Five years ago, when I selected pharmacy as a career for me, I chooses that profession because of my father who work as a pharmacist. Whenever I have any difficult in studies, my father is there to help me. On the other hand, my colleagues have to hire private tutors for their studies. Had not my father in same profession, I would have been gotten immense assistance in studies. The second rationale for my opinion is rooted in the fact thAt when children adopt a job similar to their parents, it will provide the them with the opportunity to get a better position and good salary in their job. It is crystal clear that patent have strengthen their working relationship at their job, children can take advantage of those interpersonal relationships to succeed. It is axiomatic that parents can do anything for the better future of their child, and it is nothing if they have to ask their superior for child's promotion. For instance, when I started doing job as a pharmacist my father used his personal relations with his supervisor to get me the job. I was hired by his company and even got raise in salary after six month of my job because of my efficient working skills. It's clear to see that how my father, being in the same job, has provided me with the successful job and even promotion. By perusing the above paragraphs, one can infer that when parents and children are in same job it is extremely beneficial. For the sake of brevity, a couple of points are worth reiterating, first children get to learn from them, second, they can utilize their experience to reach success. As for this writer's advice, I vehemently urge people to have same job as their parents for their betterment.
By and large it
is established
beyond doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways for their living. In this regard, choosing a career is of paramount importance. There has been no shortage of debate amongst scholars on weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, or they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "contemplate"
contemplates
to follow up on their parents' step. As for writers opinion, I subscribe to the later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In what follows, I will delve into most crucial reasons to substantiate my viewpoint.

The
first
reason coming to my mind to elucidate my point of view
is associated
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose a profession similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they will have complete guidance and support of their guardians. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can supports them and direct them to the path of their success.
Vividly
, it will enhance their knowledge as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are expertise in their field and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from their knowledge by improving and learning from them. My experience on this
is influenced
by my compelling example. Five years ago, when I selected pharmacy as a career for me, I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "choose"
chooses
that profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
who work as a pharmacist. Whenever I have any difficult in studies, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me.
On the other hand
, my colleagues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire private tutors for their studies. Had not my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
in same profession, I would have
been gotten
immense assistance in studies.

The second rationale for my opinion
is rooted
in the fact
Possible spelling mistake found.
thAt
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it will provide
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "them"?
the them
with the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better position and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that patent has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that patent have
Use past participle here: "strengthened".
strengthen
their working relationship at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take advantage of those interpersonal relationships to succeed. It is axiomatic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can do anything for the better future of their child, and it is nothing if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask their superior for child's promotion.
For instance
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a pharmacist my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
his personal relations with his supervisor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
was hired
by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
raise in salary after six
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my efficient working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that how my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
, being in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, has provided me with the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and even promotion.

By perusing the above paragraphs, one can infer that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it is
extremely
beneficial. For the sake of brevity, a couple of points
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
worth reiterating,
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn from them, second, they can utilize their experience to reach success. As for this writer's advice, I
vehemently
urge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have same
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "jobbed".
job
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for their betterment.
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IELTS essay It is better for children to choose the job that is very similar to their parent than to choose a completely different job explain your answers with reasons

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
474 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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