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It is always argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage rather than job which offers satisfaction. I completely disagrees with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than high salary.

It is always argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage rather than job which offers satisfaction. I completely disagrees with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than high salary. wxKee
It is always argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage rather than job which offers satisfaction. I completely disagrees with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than high salary. First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfilment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, this person won't enjoy his/her life, since he/she might have a guilty feel as they didn't possess the job that dreamt of. However, while pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of wages, but because they were passionate about interests. That's why it is more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at high salary. Secondly, doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to career growth. In other words, there is a strong relation between job satisfaction and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those. For instance, Mark Zukerberg, CEO of Facebook company, left his high paying job in his initial career days. After leaving his everyday job, he followed his passion and he founded out Facebook, and now he is  one of the world's top 10 billionaire. Thus, satisfied job leads to a drastic growth in the career. To conclude, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than high salary because it makes people happy and motivated.
It is always argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. I completely
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "disagree".
disagrees
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary, this person won't enjoy his/her life, since he/she might have a guilty feel as they didn't possess the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that dreamt of.
However
, while pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
researchers made their career choices not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of wages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were passionate about interests. That's why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose the kind of work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy than to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

Secondly
, doing what you like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
leads to career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and productivity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
easily
excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those.
For instance
, Mark
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zukerberg
, CEO of Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in his initial career days. After leaving his everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he followed his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
passion and
he founded out Facebook, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
one of the world's top 10 billionaire.
Thus
, satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
leads to a drastic growth in the career.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay It is always argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage rather than job which offers satisfaction. I completely disagrees with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than high salary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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