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It appears that the government’s budget should be spent on railways instead of roads.

It appears that the government’s budget should be spent on railways instead of roads. O6KW7
It appears that the government’s budget should be spent on railways instead of roads. I completely agree with the previous statement. There are many advantages of transporting by trains, it is safer and pollutes less pollution which are currently the issues in many countries. Spending money on railways can improve the quality of the train transportation, therefore, can encourage the individuals to use public transport. Improving the railways benefits more than the residents but also environment. By encouraging people to use less cars in the city and in the country, it can reduce the traffic jam and pollution, whether it is noise or air pollution. In my opinion, travelling by cars are more dangerous than travelling by trains, especially in the night time. The sole reason many people do not use this type of transportation in many countries is because the railways are damaged and old. For instance, in Thailand, train is not the first choice of transportation for Thai people. The safety is often ignored and because of outdated and slow train, Thai citizens prefer to drive their own cars. Which is something that I found sorrowful because Thailand has the extraordinary landscapes, being able to travel on the railways can provide the beautiful view of the country and they can make this into tourism like the countries in Europe. To sum up, providing money for railways improvement definitely has advantages rather than using it for roads. Many benefits for environment, reducing accidents on roads, and the residents in the area.
It appears that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s budget should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
instead
of roads. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the previous statement. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of transporting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, it is safer and pollutes less pollution which are
currently
the issues in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

Spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
transportation,
therefore
, can encourage the individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
benefits more than the residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
environment. By encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars in the city and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic jam and pollution, whether it is noise or air pollution. In my opinion, travelling by cars are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
than travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
especially
in the
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
.

The sole reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this type of transportation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are damaged
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
For instance
, in Thailand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is not the
first
choice of transportation for Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The safety is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of outdated and slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, Thai citizens prefer to drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars. Which is something that I found sorrowful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Thailand has the extraordinary landscapes, being able to travel on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
can provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
view of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this into tourism like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe.

To sum up, providing money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
improvement definitely has advantages
rather
than using it for roads.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
benefits for environment, reducing accidents on roads, and the residents in the area.
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IELTS essay It appears that the government’s budget should be spent on railways instead of roads.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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