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Is there a space for corporal punishment in educational establishment? What is your opinion

Is there a space for corporal punishment in educational establishment? What is your opinion oRbEX
There is no doubt that education has long played a crucial role in individuals’ lives; therefore, topics related to the teaching-learning environment has drawn people's attention, typically form of punishment in schools. While many people hold the idea that teachers should apply corporal punishment to students, I strongly oppose that viewpoint due to its counter-effects and negativity. The following paragraphs are the detailed analysis about my opinion. More specifically, in terms of influences, there are arguments advanced by opponents that corporal punishment will make students more obedient. However, with that kind of punishment, students will obviously follow instructions forcefully instead of the supposed free will. It is apparent that students treat such penalty as a threat, so they live in scared and cannot focus completely on studying. Moreover, there are several cases in which kids get hit, then being rude and talk back to their teachers. As a result physical punishment can create unexpected detrimental effects on students ranging from disobedience, stubborn and study-neglecting. On the other hand, other opponents also claim that certain parents allow teachers to use physical penalty with their kids, so there will be no resentment from parents, when it comes to negative attitudes from families. Although they permit teachers to punish physically, the majority of mothers and fathers still hurt and cannot fully accept the fact that other people attack their offsprings. Conflicts between families and educational establishments, consequently, occur on a more frequent basis, which can even result in student drop out. There are few Vietnamese parents are so angry that they are willing to let their children drop out just because teachers hit their children lightly with as ruler on their palms, for instance. In a nutshell, despite the fact that there are many people believe in corporal penalty because of its strictness and parents' permissions, I still advocate with the idea that there should be no room for that kind of punishment due to its counter-effects on students combining with negative attitudes from parents.
There is no doubt that education has long played a crucial role in individuals’
lives
;
therefore
, topics related to the teaching-learning environment has drawn
people
's attention,
typically
form of
punishment
in schools. While
many
people
hold the
idea
that
teachers
should apply corporal
punishment
to
students
, I
strongly
oppose that viewpoint due to its counter-effects and negativity. The following paragraphs are the detailed
analysis about
my opinion.

More
specifically
, in terms of influences, there are arguments advanced by opponents that corporal
punishment
will
make
students
more obedient.
However
, with that kind of
punishment
,
students
will
obviously
follow instructions
forcefully
instead
of the supposed free will. It is apparent that
students
treat such penalty as a threat,
so
they
live
in scared and cannot focus completely on studying.
Moreover
, there are several cases in which kids
get
hit, then being rude and talk back to their
teachers
.
As a result
physical
punishment
can create unexpected detrimental effects on
students
ranging from disobedience, stubborn and study-neglecting.

On the other hand
, other opponents
also
claim that certain
parents
allow
teachers
to
use
physical penalty with their kids,
so
there will be no resentment from
parents
, when it
comes
to
negative
attitudes from families. Although they permit
teachers
to punish
physically
, the majority of mothers and fathers
still
hurt and cannot
fully
accept the fact that other
people
attack their
offsprings
. Conflicts between families and educational establishments,
consequently
, occur on a more frequent basis, which can even result in
student
drop out. There are few Vietnamese
parents
are
so
angry that they are willing to
let
their children drop out
just
because
teachers
hit their children
lightly
with as ruler on their palms,
for instance
.

In a nutshell, despite the fact that there are
many
people
believe in corporal penalty
because
of its strictness and parents' permissions, I
still
advocate with the
idea
that there should be no room for that kind of
punishment
due to its counter-effects on
students
combining with
negative
attitudes from
parents
.
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IELTS essay Is there a space for corporal punishment in educational establishment? What is your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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