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Is it important for a country to have festivals?

Is it important for a country to have festivals? kLbDW
Yes, I do believe that festivals are immensely important for a country and its people because of many reasons. Firstly, these celebrations represent the cultural and national identity of this country. Besides, festivals also attract international tourists and boost the tourism industry and of course, it affects to the national economic. Finally, working-class people need refreshments and vacations, and the festivals are great ways to refresh and invigorate ourselves from the monotonous daily routines that makes we feel stressed and tired. The important festivals also bring people together and eliminate the differences we have in our society about gender, race, religion, etc.
Yes, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a country and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, these celebrations represent the cultural and national identity of this country.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
also
attract international tourists and boost the tourism industry and
of course
, it affects to the national economic.
Finally
, working-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need refreshments and vacations, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are great ways to refresh and invigorate ourselves from the monotonous daily routines that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
we feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and tired. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
also
bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together and eliminate the differences we have in our society about gender, race, religion, etc.

IELTS essay Is it important for a country to have festivals?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
102 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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