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International travel agencies are going to reduce their fees for people. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (approximately 250 words)

International travel agencies are going to reduce their fees for people. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (approximately 250 words) 7a7Gy
Many international travel agencies tend to lower their services price thanks to globalization. While this phenomenon can cause some potential problems, I think the benefits are more significant. On the one hand, there are some defects to international travel when the strategy of reducing travel costs is implemented. Firstly, the cheaper price often makes it easy for international travel agencies to draw attention from people. As a result. tourist destinations would witness a huge influx of travellers, which could provoke adverse influences on the locations such as indiscriminate littering, pollution of air and water, or vandalism. A specific example of this could be the Great Wall of China where suffers tourist numbers causing parts falling into disrepair while other parts have been knocked down to give rise to roads or developments to make it easier for tourists to access this marvel. Secondly, low price sometimes is accompanied by the poor-quality tourism services since that international travel agencies provide cheap travel deals to their clients, but they may be substandard services in reality. Consequently, consumers do not reach the desired satisfaction as their expectation, and such bad experience could ruin relaxation or leave unpleasant memories for travellers. On the other hand, despite many negative impacts, there are tremendous perks as well due to that tourism plays a crucial role in the development of the global economy as the fastest-growing industry. One of the biggest benefits of tourism is the ability to obtain income through foreign exchange. The money that the countries accumulate in this way could then be reinvested in public services such as education or healthcare to pave the way for a better quality of life in local communities. Another advantage could be that international tourism leads to employment creation. Tourism generates jobs directly through hotels, restaurants, nightclubs, taxis, and souvenir sales, and indirectly through the supply of goods and services needed by tourism-related businesses. This is beneficial for governments to minimize the unemployment rate and to enables employees in the sector to satisfy their family needs and eventually contributing to the prosperity and development of the region. In conclusion, while the benefits associated with the reduction of international travel fares could counteract its possible disadvantages, governments and people of each country and each locality should work on managing the protection and conservation of national heritage for the development of sustainable tourism around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies tend to lower their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
price thanks to globalization. While this phenomenon can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential problems, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the benefits are more significant.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
defects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
when the strategy of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
costs
is implemented
.
Firstly
, the cheaper price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies to draw attention from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tourist
destinations would witness a huge influx of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, which could provoke adverse influences on the locations such as indiscriminate littering, pollution of air and water, or vandalism. A specific example of this could be the Great Wall of China where suffers tourist numbers causing parts falling into disrepair while other parts have
been knocked
down to give rise to roads or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for tourists to access this marvel.
Secondly
, low price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is accompanied
by the poor-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
since that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
deals to their clients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may be substandard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in reality.
Consequently
, consumers do not reach the desired satisfaction as their expectation, and such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience could ruin relaxation or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
unpleasant memories for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.

On the other hand
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, there are tremendous perks
as well
due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays a crucial role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the global economy as the fastest-growing industry. One of the biggest benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the ability to obtain income through foreign exchange. The money that the countries accumulate in this way could then
be reinvested
in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as education or healthcare to pave the way for a better quality of life in local communities. Another advantage could be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
leads to employment creation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
generates jobs
directly
through hotels, restaurants, nightclubs, taxis, and souvenir sales, and
indirectly
through the supply of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
needed by tourism-related businesses. This is beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to minimize the unemployment rate and to enables employees in the sector to satisfy their family needs and
eventually
contributing to the prosperity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the region.

In conclusion
, while the benefits associated with the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
fares could counteract its possible disadvantages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of each country and each locality should work on managing the protection and conservation of national heritage for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
around the world.
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IELTS essay International travel agencies are going to reduce their fees for people. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (approximately 250 words)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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