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International news should be added in subject of secondary school students or not?

International news should be added in subject of secondary school students or not? pa3Ra
This trend of suggestions for including subjects to the curricullum of secondary school is popular since earlier times. But, not all the suggestions in this era are worth following. Simultaneously, the idea of additional subject of international news is not right in my perspective. To begin with, international news has very limited influenced on culture, language and lifestyle of society. Secondly, many a times, students misunderstand the news and intrepret the wrong meaning out of it. For instance, international news could either cause the harm in traditional values of the country owing to the negligence of its own language and leaving it behind for the sake of acquire skills to read international news. In the flip side, students will grow more conscious about the current happenings in the Foreign countries. It would be grateful for the widening of their mentality. Furthermore, International language speaking students will develop high status among their friend-circle and the society they reside in. However, it could end up losing their concentration in other academic subjects. henceforth, it is the fact that can not be overlook, that secondary school students already have a diverse variety of subjects to go through, and addition of one more subject will be burdensome for children. To reciprocate it, I firmly believe that learning international language offers ample of advantages but the thought of including it to the academic subjects of secondary school will be highly hectic to handle for the school goers.
This trend of suggestions for including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
curricullum
of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is popular since earlier times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, not all the suggestions in this era are worth following.
Simultaneously
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is not right in my perspective. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited influenced on culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and lifestyle of society.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
misunderstand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrepret
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
meaning out of it.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
could either cause the harm in traditional values of the country owing to the negligence of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and leaving it behind for the sake of acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will grow more conscious about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
happenings in the Foreign countries. It would be grateful for the widening of their mentality.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will develop high status among their friend-circle and the society they reside in.
However
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up losing their concentration in other academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
henceforth
, it is the fact that can not be
Consider using a past participle here: "overlooked".
overlook
, that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
already have a diverse variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to go through, and addition of one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
will be burdensome for children. To reciprocate it, I
firmly
believe that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
offers ample of advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of including it to the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will be
highly
hectic to handle for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
goers.
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IELTS essay International news should be added in subject of secondary school students or not?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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