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Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? 9L6Qw
It is now noticeable, that human activities are having a terrible impact on the world's ecosystems, as a result species are disappearing and biodiversity is being lost. This essay will discuss the main causes of loss of bio-diversity including the overuse of animals by people for their benefits and illegal killing them. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including taking care of animals by government and strong punishment poachers. People are consuming animals more than even before. What we eat every day, dress and take when we are sick-food, clothing, medicines are all made from animals. For example, japan people kill about 10000 dogs everyday for food and use approximately 10000 animals a year for medicine test. Number of extinctions animals are increasing day by day and consequently bio-diversity is being damaged. Taking care of animals by government is critical to mitigating loss of bio-diversity. Government should limit the killing of animals which is helpful to preserve the species. Otherwise, people will continue to use animals for several benefits. Government needs to find other ways to making medicine and clothing, furthermore they should reduce the amount of meat that people eat per day. The poaching is frequently happening. People kill animals just for fun or to make money despite the fact that species are dying out. It seems for poacher that, killing only one animal is not leading to the extinction of species, however he do not understand, that there are many people that kill the animals without any reason like him. Solution for this can be strong punishment poachers. They will kill animals again if government just fine them, therefore government need to find new punishments. For killing animals people need to go to jail for a long time. In that way, we can reduce the illegal killing animals. To conclude, in today’s world species are dying out and bio-diversity is being lost because of human activities. This essay discussed how these problems caused by often using animals by individuals and poaching. This essay also suggested that the solutions to this problem are twofold: to take control of using animals by government and to strong punish the poachers.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
noticeable, that human activities are having a terrible impact on the world's ecosystems,
as a result
species are disappearing and biodiversity is
being lost
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the main causes of loss of bio-diversity including the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their benefits and illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solutions to these problems including taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and strong punishment poachers.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
more than even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. What we eat every day, dress and take when we are sick-food, clothing, medicines are all made from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
about 10000 dogs
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
for food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
approximately 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
a year for medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. Number of extinctions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are increasing day by day and
consequently
bio-diversity is
being damaged
. Taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is critical to mitigating loss of bio-diversity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which is helpful to preserve the species.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for several benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
needs to find other ways to making medicine and clothing,
furthermore
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of meat that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat per day.

The poaching is
frequently
happening.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money despite the fact that species are dying out. It seems for poacher that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is not leading to the extinction of species,
however
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
not understand, that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
without any reason like him. Solution for this can be strong punishment poachers. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
again if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fine them,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to find new punishments. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to go to jail for a long time. In that way, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
animals.

To conclude
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world species are dying out and bio-diversity is
being lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human activities. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how these problems caused by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by individuals and poaching. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that the solutions to this problem are twofold: to take control of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and to strong punish the poachers.
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IELTS essay Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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