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Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this?

Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this? EnJ3
Numerous office authorities prohibited their employees to smoke within the office premises. Smoking is also not permitted by the government in all public places. It is an ethical idea but sadly it withdraw some of their freedom. This essay will provide my personal opinion on this topic as well as show evidences of why I think this is such a good idea. As we know, several countries especially the developed one-like Singapore-have a law that stated their country prohibits people to smoke in public facilities. If they disobey it, they have to go to the court and liable to a composition sum up to $1000. Additionally, some company requires their employees to not smoke in the building. In order to not taking away people’s freedom, active smoker can smoke in open areas like parking lot or a smoking area. Now let us imagine if this rule does not exist, the non smoker will suffer from several inconvenient such as breathing difficulties, respiratory failure, an oxygen block, etc. It can be extremely harmful especially for pregnant women, children, babies and elders to inhale smoke and become a passive smoker. Research shows that passive smokers have more respiratory issues compared to the active smokers. Based upon the analysis above, although it is difficult for countries to banned people from smoking, I do believe that they should, because it shown more advantages than disadvantages. As long as they provide smoking areas and punish the one that disobey the law strictly, it is not taking away active smoker’s freedom but instead making non smoker have a freedom too.
Numerous office authorities prohibited their employees to
smoke
within the office premises.
Smoking
is
also
not permitted by the
government
in all public places. It is an ethical
idea
but
sadly
it
withdraw
some
of their
freedom
. This essay will provide my personal opinion on this topic
as well
as
show
evidences of why I
think
this is such a
good
idea
.

As we know, several countries
especially
the developed one-like Singapore-have a law that stated their country prohibits
people
to
smoke
in public facilities. If they disobey it, they
have to
go to the court and liable to a composition sum up to $1000.
Additionally
,
some
company
requires their employees to not
smoke
in the building. In order to not taking away
people
’s
freedom
, active smoker can
smoke
in open areas like parking lot or a
smoking
area.
Now
let
us imagine if this
rule
does not exist, the
non smoker
will suffer from several inconvenient such as breathing difficulties, respiratory failure, an oxygen block, etc. It can be
extremely
harmful
especially
for pregnant women, children, babies and elders to inhale
smoke
and become a passive smoker. Research
shows
that passive smokers have more respiratory issues compared to the active smokers.

Based upon the analysis above, although it is difficult for countries to banned
people
from
smoking
, I do believe that they should,
because
it shown more advantages than disadvantages. As long as they provide
smoking
areas and punish the one that disobey the law
strictly
, it is not taking away active smoker’s
freedom
but
instead
making
non smoker
have a
freedom
too.
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IELTS essay Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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