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In today's world many adult individuals were aware about the famous International TV or movie stars rather than about the famous people in the past of their own history country what is the reason behind it and also discussed some solution to tackle this

In today's world many adult individuals were aware about the famous International TV or movie stars rather than about the famous people in the past of their own history country what is the reason behind it and also discussed some solution to tackle this 5kYkV
Irrefutably, it is not surprising that nowadays more and more adult individuals know about the famous International celebrities rather than about the famous masses in the past decade of their own country. This essay will elucidate the cause of this trend and also will discussed some possible situation to tackle w in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark on, there are an ample of reason that why the people are more fascinate about Hollywood stars. The first and the foremost factor is social media. To elaborate it, in this modern era, the social media applications such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and many more are becoming popular in which the Hollywood celebrities has millions of followers. They posted many videos and photos on their social accounts. By watching this, the young people get more influenced by their work and especially through fashionable clothes. As a result, the teenagers are highly interested to know about foreign celebrities and show activeness in their movies and music videos. On the other hand, there are some possible solutions on how young individual should develop their interest in the history of their own country. Firstly, the filmmakers should produced various movies which involved the main events of the history. Moreover, in schools there ought to be a history class and its should be mandatory for students to attend this class, however the teacher should elaborate the lessons with the help of an examples, photos and videos. Consequently, this influences the adult one's and they can understand the history of the famous individuals. To recapitulate, after analyzing all the aspects it is clear that these days young people do not pay much attention to their country's history, however this problem can be curb by several suggestive solutions.
Irrefutably
, it is not surprising that nowadays more and more adult individuals know about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
International celebrities
rather
than about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
masses in the past decade of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country. This essay will elucidate the cause of this trend and
also
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible situation to tackle w in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark on, there are
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
reason that why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more fascinate about Hollywood stars. The
first
and the foremost factor is social media. To elaborate it, in this modern era, the social media applications such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are becoming popular in which the Hollywood celebrities has millions of followers. They posted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
videos and photos on their social accounts. By watching this, the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more influenced by their work and
especially
through fashionable clothes.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
highly
interested to know about foreign celebrities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
activeness in their movies and music videos.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions on how young individual should develop their interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
Firstly
, the filmmakers should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "produce"
produced
various movies which involved the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Moreover
, in schools there ought to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and its should be mandatory for students to attend this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
however
the teacher should elaborate the lessons with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an example" or simply "examples"?
an examples
, photos and videos.
Consequently
, this influences the adult one'
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
s and
they can understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
individuals. To recapitulate, after analyzing all the aspects it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these days young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not pay much attention to their country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
however
this problem can be
Consider using a past participle here: "curbed".
curb
by several suggestive solutions.
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IELTS essay In today's world many adult individuals were aware about the famous International TV or movie stars rather than about the famous people in the past of their own history country what is the reason behind it and also discussed some solution to tackle this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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