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In today's society, a plethora of public figures are revered for their lifestyle other than their accomplishments, setting a negative example for the youth

In today's society, a plethora of public figures are revered for their lifestyle other than their accomplishments, setting a negative example for the youth n1qVg
In today's society, a plethora of public figures are revered for their lifestyle other than their accomplishments, setting a negative example for the youth. In my opinion, I entirely approve this view since, it instills an extremely shallow mindset as well discourages young people who want to be in unexposed but crucial careers. Firstly, celebrating famous people in regard to their fashion and money inculcates bad morals among young fans who look-up-to them. This is because, these youngsters equate ammersing wealth to being instantly respected in the society. In this regard, they will do anything possible whether illegal or outrageous for media attention. Ultimately, they end up living a meaningless and fake life to please people. For example, a number of teenagers would post explicit photos in social platforms in the name of fashion to go viral. Hence, putting a spotlight on celebrities possessions rather than opulence leads to moral degradation among teens. Secondly, idolizing the outward appearance and riches of celebs disheartens young adults in valuable but technical professions such as medicine or engineering. Given that, the majority of stars rarely talk about carrers not related to arts, vast graduates in technical courses either lack role models or feel like failures. To give an illustration, some students will drop out of college because they want to pursue artistry yet they are merely talented. Therefore, public figures should not only portray their lifestyles but also better values like hardwork. To sum up, I completely agree that revering stars for their money and looks influences young people negatively because they end up valueing trivial things and others feel discouraged when they do not lead a similar life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society, a plethora of public figures
are revered
for their lifestyle other than their accomplishments, setting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
example for the youth. In my opinion, I
entirely
approve this view since, it instills an
extremely
shallow mindset
as well
discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to be in unexposed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
crucial careers.

Firstly
, celebrating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in regard to their fashion and money inculcates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
morals among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
fans who look-up-to them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, these youngsters equate
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammersing
wealth to being
instantly
respected in the society. In this regard, they will do anything possible whether illegal or outrageous for media attention.
Ultimately
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up living a meaningless and fake life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would post explicit photos in social platforms in the name of fashion to go viral.
Hence
, putting a spotlight on celebrities possessions
rather
than opulence leads to moral degradation among teens.

Secondly
, idolizing the outward appearance and riches of celebs disheartens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults in valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
technical professions such as medicine or engineering.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that, the majority of stars rarely talk about
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrers
not related to arts, vast graduates in technical courses either lack role models or feel like failures. To give an illustration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students will drop out of college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to pursue artistry
yet
they are
merely
talented.
Therefore
, public figures should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
portray their lifestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
better values like
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
.

To sum up, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that revering stars for their money and looks influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
negatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueing
trivial things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
feel discouraged when they do not lead a similar life.
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IELTS essay In today's society, a plethora of public figures are revered for their lifestyle other than their accomplishments, setting a negative example for the youth

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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