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In this modern technical epoch, many people believe that it brought us closer then the earlier time, but on the other hand some people think it driven us apart.

In this modern technical epoch, many people believe that it brought us closer then the earlier time, but on the other hand some people think it driven us apart. 7PgLk
In this modern technical epoch, many people believe that it brought us closer then the earlier time, but on the other hand some people think it driven us apart. To begin with we can say that this modern technology has a huge support of connecting us with one another. Whenever a we wants to connect to a family member who is staying far away from them they can talk to them by making a phone call or by having face to face conversation on video calling facility provided by modern technology. Their is various kind of new technical things which connects us by various means like social media can send pictures videos to their loved ones who is far from them and have a chat, internet calling, video calling. In addition, some people think that this technology have driven us apart because they think that their is no such gatherings which they are having in earlier period, no one has enough time to gather in person with their loved ones. Before this technology each member of the family finds a specific time to gather at one place to stay over and have a celebration and spread happiness to eachother. In my opinion, according to growing world and competition arround us, modern technology helps us to stay connected with our families and friends. According to me we can talk to any person, any time we remember them it is due to this new technical society. In conclusion each factor has their own merits and de-merits according to the persons mind it varies. So, In this growing world thier are some things which keeps us stay close as we were ages ago.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technical epoch,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it brought us
Did you mean "closer than"?
closer then
the earlier
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time
,
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but
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it driven us apart.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with we can say that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a huge support of connecting us with one another. Whenever
Possible typo. Did you mean "a" or "we"?
a we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
to connect to a family member who is staying far away from them they can talk to them by making a phone call or by having face to face conversation on video calling facility provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Did you mean "there"?
Their
is various kind of new technical things which connects us by various means like social media can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
pictures videos to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ones' should be used.
is
far from them and have a chat, internet calling, video calling.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have driven us apart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Did you mean "there"?
their
is no such gatherings which they are having in earlier period, no one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to gather in person with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
each member of the family finds a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to gather at one place to stay over and have a celebration and spread happiness to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
.

In my opinion, according to growing world and competition
Possible spelling mistake found.
arround
us,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to stay connected with our families and friends.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
we can talk to any person, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we remember them it is due to this new technical society.

In conclusion
each factor has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-merits
according to the persons mind it varies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, In this growing world
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us stay close as we were ages ago.
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IELTS essay In this modern technical epoch, many people believe that it brought us closer then the earlier time, but on the other hand some people think it driven us apart.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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