Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe parents should continue to exercise some control over their adolescent children.

In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe parents should continue to exercise some control over their adolescent children. 5arjp
As children grow up, they can be increasingly responsible for making their own decisions. However, until a young person is ready to live independently, parents still have a responsibility for guiding their children. In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe parents should continue to exercise some control over their adolescent children. The most important area is safety. Learning to manage risk is clearly very important. However, because children often have less experience of and therefore less awareness of adverse consequences, they are not always able to take sensible precautions. Because, for example, they may never have been robbed whilst outdoors at night, they may assume that this can never happen to them. Parents should, therefore, intervene to help their children understand and manage risk. In the example above, they could help their children arrange suitable transport. Another area in which a degree of parental intervention is necessary is in considering long-term interests. Young people sometimes have a tendency to prioritize short-term needs and wants over longer-term goals. They may, for instance, choose to attend a sporting event or social occasion rather than study for an exam that is weeks in the future. Parents can help their children by insisting that certain responsibilities are met before privileges are granted. Children would not only be helped to achieve their goals but would also learn how to manage their time. In summary, parents should allow their adolescent children a degree of autonomy but continue to exercise some control. If their intervene with a view to helping their children learn to make good decisions in dependently, they are likely to see the best outcome.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up, they can be
increasingly
responsible for making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
However
, until a young person is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
still
have a responsibility for guiding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should continue to exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
control over their adolescent children.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
area is safety. Learning to manage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have less experience of and
therefore
less awareness of adverse consequences, they are not always able to take sensible precautions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
for example
, they may never have
been robbed
whilst outdoors at night, they may assume that this can never happen to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should,
therefore
, intervene to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand and manage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. In the example above, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
arrange suitable transport.

Another area in which a degree of parental intervention is necessary is in considering long-term interests. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have a tendency to prioritize short-term needs and wants over longer-term goals. They may,
for instance
, choose to attend a sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
or social occasion
rather
than study for an exam
that is
weeks in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by insisting that certain responsibilities
are met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
privileges
are granted
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to achieve their goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would
also
learn how to manage their time.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their adolescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a degree of autonomy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
continue to exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
control. If their intervene with a view to helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions in
dependently
, they are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the best outcome.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe parents should continue to exercise some control over their adolescent children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In this essay, I will outline two main areas in which I believe parents should continue to exercise some control over their adolescent children.