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In their free time young people age 14 18 spend time taking part in different activities such as music lessons or competitive sports Some young people diverse their time in other kinds of activities But other young people will spend most of their time foc

In their free time young people age 14 18 spend time taking part in different activities such as music lessons or competitive sports Some young people diverse their time in other kinds of activities But other young people will spend most of their time foc 7a0dk
Undoubtedly, we have a valuable freetime in ages between 14 and 18, since the youth do not have a big resposibilty to take care of others just they should have focus on their personal abilities. While some people try to want their kids to focus on one activity in this period od time, others think it is better that adolescents learn divers range of skills. In my opinion the later attitude wiegh than the earlier. In the following essay, I will elaborate on my reasons. First, learning a wide range of skills helps the youth enlist both their brains' hemispheres which is a critical development step in their lives. Some activities like arts, motivate one side of childrens' brain, namely in right-handed people left hemisphere. Other activities such as sports influence other hemisphere. Therefore, ingaging with different tasks challanges kids with more motivating impetuses, which is pretty useful to improve their poroductivity and efficiency in their development. To put this into prespective, I recently read an academic paper in psychology which discusses this in details. The data showed that children ability to learn somehow sophisticated skills and abilities in college is directly related to their education in highschool. They infered that students who took part in different extracuricullar programs and learned them work better in some intelectuall challenges in test, rather then students that just learned one skill. This results offered that children should invovled with a lot of activities to benefits more. Second, the more skills children learn at this ages, the more chance to discover thier talent. It means that if teenagers try different activities, they will learn more lessons in different fields through which they may find one or more intersting topics. Some young people may have a different tendancy toward different fields in specific ages. As a resualt if they have chance to try many fields in activities, thay may find one of them intriguing and choose that as their main field to follow. For example, when I was at highschool, I tried karate and palying recorder flut which it was fascinating to me; but at the jonior year I got familiar playing chess which mesmerized me. After that year, I practiced chess a lot, learned that in a professional level from a teacher. It led me to participate in a championship whcih gacvce me a confidence. At university, I won a medalion for champion between Ivy league colleges. Had I not tried different fields, I would not have known my talent in chess. All in all, I strongly believe that children should learn multiple fields. This is because they will find more benefit ingaging a diverse activities which stimulates their both brains' hemisphere, and because it gives them more chance to discover their talents and show their aptitude.
Undoubtedly
, we have a valuable
Possible spelling mistake found.
freetime
in ages between 14 and 18, since the youth do not have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposibilty
to take care of others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
they should have focus on their personal abilities. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to want their kids to focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in this period
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
time, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better that adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
divers range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion the later attitude
Possible spelling mistake found.
wiegh
than the earlier. In the following essay, I will elaborate on my reasons.

First
, learning a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the youth enlist both their brains'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hemispheres
which is a critical development step in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like arts, motivate one side of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
' brain,
namely
in right-handed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hemisphere
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as sports influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hemisphere
.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingaging
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
tasks
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanges
kids with more motivating impetuses, which is pretty useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
poroductivity
and efficiency in their development. To put this into
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
, I recently read an academic paper in psychology which discusses this in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
somehow sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and abilities in college is
directly
related to their education in
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
. They
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "inferred", the past tense form of the verb 'infer'?
infered
that students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
extracuricullar
programs and learned them work better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelectuall
challenges in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
students that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learned one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
results offered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
invovled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to benefits more.

Second, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at
Did you mean "these"?
this
ages, the more chance to discover
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
talent. It means that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more lessons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
through which they may find one or more
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersting
topics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
tendancy
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in specific ages. As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
resualt
if they have chance to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
may find one of them intriguing and choose that as their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
to follow.
For example
, when I was at
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
, I tried karate and
Possible spelling mistake found.
palying
recorder
Possible spelling mistake found.
flut
which it was fascinating to me;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
jonior
year I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
familiar playing chess which mesmerized me. After that year, I practiced chess a lot, learned that in a professional level from a teacher. It led me to participate in a championship
Possible spelling mistake found.
whcih
Possible spelling mistake found.
gacvce
me a confidence. At university, I won a
Possible spelling mistake found.
medalion
for champion between Ivy league colleges. Had I not tried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, I would not have known my talent in chess.

All in all, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will find more benefit
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingaging
a diverse
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
which stimulates their both brains'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hemisphere
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them more chance to discover their talents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their aptitude.
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IELTS essay In their free time young people age 14 18 spend time taking part in different activities such as music lessons or competitive sports Some young people diverse their time in other kinds of activities But other young people will spend most of their time foc

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
463 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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