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in the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or book because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or book because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. with this statement? KRW9
In this globalization situation anything is possible to do which even can reach only in one hand, such activity like gathering information will be easier way to do through ebooks or surfing the internet. But in my personal opinion, printed information on newspaper will give us more advantages and must be kept on our socialization.   To begin with, printed newspaper is made with quality by its owner who already filtered the information they put in it. As we can see, in this century valid information are difficult to find. A lot of unqualified authors share information without resposibility of its content. This kind of information will use randomly by some people without knowing where this news came from. Moreover, paper-based newspaper will giving a physical form that leaving the real feeling by its reader. It also made the reader focus solely. In contrary with this opinion, online newspaper that read by smartphone will have so much distractions for its user because the virtual activities on those smartphone. Difference from online newspaper which can be bumped by thousand of articles or other news daily that can be deleted by machine errors or viruses, printed newspaper can be collected organizely, this old way will save the news from years ago and may be useful for researchers field. On the other hand, I personally believe that internet-based newspaper will keep growing in the future. This situation has benefit in our life such as reducing usage of paper, which automatically will increase the deforestating and make our earth healthier and safer to live for. In conclusion, I strongly believe that this printed newspaper will survive in this extreme changes of technology era, and the growth of online ebooks, interned-based newspaper will increases time by time but in terms and condition under control of government supervision to detecting and protecting the validity of the information.
In this globalization situation anything is possible to do which even can reach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in one hand, such activity like gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will be
Please check whether an article is missing: "a easier".
easier
way to do through
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
or surfing the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my personal opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will give us more advantages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on our socialization.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is made
with quality by its owner who already filtered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they put in it. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, in this century valid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are difficult to find.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
unqualified authors share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposibility
of its content. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
randomly
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without knowing where this news came from.
Moreover
, paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
giving
a physical form that leaving the real feeling by its reader. It
also
made the reader focus
solely
. In contrary with this opinion, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
that read by smartphone will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
distractions for its user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the virtual activities on
Did you mean "this smartphone" or "those smartphones"?
those smartphone
. Difference from online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
which can
be bumped
by thousand of articles or other news daily that can
be deleted
by machine errors or viruses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
can
be collected
Possible spelling mistake found.
organizely
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
way will save the news from years ago and may be useful for researchers field.
On the other hand
, I
personally
believe that internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
growing in the future. This situation has benefit in our life such as reducing usage of paper, which
automatically
will increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
deforestating
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our earth healthier and safer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will survive in this extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of technology era, and the growth of online
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
, interned-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will increases time by time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in terms and condition under control of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
supervision to detecting and protecting the validity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
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IELTS essay in the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or book because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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