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In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. xR29
Spending holidays in overseas will be preferred by a number of people than in their own country. Even though, there are two reasons I can state, due to which people may choose to go on vacation in their own country, but in my opinion, trend for enjoying vacations in other countries than own, will increase in future. On the one hand, some people vote for planning vacations in own country because of two reasons. Firstly, local tourism gets promoted and benefited by this approach. Moreover, it generates significant revenue for the country. Secondly, citizens of the country can get to learn more about their own traditions and culture. For instance, Indian government is putting emphasis on the people to consider utilizing their vacation time in India. Many states across the country have invested millions to aware the public about local tourism benefits. Nevertheless, I believe that vacations to be spent abroad will be chosen by people more and more, because there are plenty of reasons that fortify this belief. We are offered with opportunities to learn and understand foreign language and culture. This has become an important aspect in contemporary phase of globalization. Moreover, Foreign countries offer exotic places where holidays can be spent with great fun. Also, people get to experience different weather, surroundings, food, cities and natural places all over the globe. To illustrate, flights are getting cheaper, and as a consequence, people like to follow the trend of spending vacations abroad. To conclude, Despite of having few advantages of spending vacations in own country, there are numerous reasons that will make people travel abroad for holidays in future.
Spending holidays in overseas will
be preferred
by a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Even though
, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I can state, due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may choose to go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, trend for enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, will increase
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vote for planning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, local tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
promoted and benefited by this approach.
Moreover
, it generates significant revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn more about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions and culture.
For instance
, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is putting emphasis on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consider utilizing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
time in India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
states across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have invested millions to aware the public about local tourism benefits.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
to
be spent
abroad will
be chosen
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more and more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that fortify this belief. We
are offered
with opportunities to learn and understand foreign language and culture. This has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect in contemporary phase of globalization.
Moreover
, Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
offer exotic places where holidays can
be spent
with great fun.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather, surroundings, food, cities and natural places all over the globe. To illustrate, flights are getting cheaper, and as a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to follow the trend of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
abroad.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
having few advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel abroad for holidays
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
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IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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