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In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. with this statement? O3ON
Some people argue that living on earth is becoming more and more difficult. Therefore, we have to research for another planet to live. In my opinion, although I believe that It will be hard to live on earth in the future, searching for a new planet is not necessary. On the one hand, there are mainly two reasons why life on earth will be unsustainable. One obvious problem is that the rising level of pollution in the land and the ocean leads to a disproportionate number of the population in these areas. For example, with the polluted ocean, there will be no fish to catch. As a result, fishermen and people who live near the beach will have to move to other areas to survive. Another factor is the overconsumption of natural resources. When the fossil fuels such as oil and coal are exploited to meet the mass demand for energy, they will quickly run out. Unfortunately, it takes ages for these resources to recover On the other hand, I believe that discovering a new planet is a waste of money. There are various urgent problems that directly affect people's lives that we should consider. One of which is to improve the advances of technology in farming and therefore to reduce the risk of famine. Furthermore, people still have enough time to save the earth, by replacing fossil fuels with environmental-friendly and renewable energy such as wind or solar power, we will reduce the rate of global warming. Take Rex hotel as a simple example; they are now using trucks with oil made from corns to minimize the number of emissions. In conclusion, although it is getting harder and harder to live on the earth, I still believe that there are many ways to deal with this problem rather than to search for another planet to live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that living on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
is becoming more and more difficult.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
research for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. In my opinion, although I believe that It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
in the future, searching for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is not necessary.

On the one hand, there are
mainly
two reasons why life on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
will be unsustainable. One obvious problem is that the rising level of pollution in the land and the ocean leads to a disproportionate number of the population in these areas.
For example
, with the polluted ocean, there will be no fish to catch.
As a result
, fishermen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
near the beach will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other areas to survive. Another factor is the overconsumption of natural resources. When the fossil fuels such as oil and coal
are exploited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the mass demand for energy, they will
quickly
run out. Unfortunately, it takes ages for these resources to recover

On the other hand
, I believe that discovering a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is a waste of money. There are various urgent problems that
directly
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
that we should consider. One of which is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the advances of technology in farming and
therefore
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of famine.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
, by replacing fossil fuels with environmental-friendly and renewable energy such as wind or solar power, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of global warming. Take Rex hotel as a simple example; they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
using trucks with oil made from corns to minimize the number of emissions.

In conclusion
, although it is getting harder and harder to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
, I
still
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to deal with this problem
rather
than to search for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
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IELTS essay In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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