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In the end of the 20th century , womei started a working in organisation same as mens . There are so many advantages and few disadvantages of this statement provided in the upcoming paragraphs .

In the end of the 20th century, womei started a working in organisation same as mens. There are so many advantages and few disadvantages of this statement provided in the upcoming paragraphs. brK5W
To conclude, although there are number of drawbacks when women do their work in firms but the advantages are more beneficial for womens. To commence with, there are so many benefits when womens work in the workforce. Firstly, women becoming part of corporate organizations has made them independent. To eleborate it, they do their work with their own mind and earn more money for their basic needs, family and living styles. Secondly, by the work womens became more confident. By the confidence, they will not faced any difficulty about the work. Thirdly, after 19th century physical and mental abuse cases reduced because women's earned money equally men. Further, by the jobs womens earned their self respect. Moreover, when womens working in the companies they can bring more stability to a firm. These are advantages when women do work in their life. Furthermore, there are some disadvantages of working women in the firms. By the work and jobs women can not spend much time with their children and social life because they spend their time on their work. That is why, they have less time for their children and social life. In addition to, when children both parents are working children are unhappy and lonely. By the loneliness, they may take wrong steps in their life. Then, when women spend their time on jobs women quality of life can get deteriorated as well as with the work womens do their house hold chores. That is why, sometime work became a burden on women's and can make stress.
To conclude
, although there are number of drawbacks when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in firms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages are more beneficial for
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
. To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits when
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the workforce.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
becoming part of corporate organizations has made them independent. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
eleborate
it, they do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mind and earn more money for their basic needs, family and living styles.
Secondly
, by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
became more confident. By the confidence, they will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "face"
faced
any difficulty about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thirdly
, after 19th century physical and mental abuse cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
women's earned money
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Further
, by the jobs
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
earned their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self respect
.
Moreover
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
working in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
they can bring more stability to a firm. These are advantages when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the firms. By the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
That is
why, they have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
to, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both parents are working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are unhappy and lonely. By the loneliness, they may take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
steps in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Then, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deteriorated
as well
as with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold chores.
That is
why, sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
became a burden on women's and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
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IELTS essay In the end of the 20th century, womei started a working in organisation same as mens. There are so many advantages and few disadvantages of this statement provided in the upcoming paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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