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In some cultures, children are often told that thry can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving the children this message?

Children tend to follow everything that they are told. In few traditions, young people are frequently taught that, working hard without quitting can make them attain anything. Personally, I believe children must be made aware of all the possibilities for being successful. This essay will discuss about the merits and demrits of providing children the above mentioned message. First of all, teaching children about hardwork will motivate them to try different things. In other words, this tend to improve the possitive thoughts in children and they might become an optimist in the future. If they realized that hardwork never fails, they would not hesitate about trying again and again. In addition, working hard not only makes them active and healthy but also make them believe in themselves, which is the basic quality of a person who never quits. On contrary, frequently insisting them to try hard might lead them to depression. In fact, some children may go very hard on oneself to the extent that they might not even sleep for days. Consequently this will lead to huge detrimental effects on their health. For instance, few children despite studying hard failed to get good scores in exams. This is because they understood the term hard working in a very different way which made them think they should study without taking a break. To conclude, it is important to teach young people the exact way of hard working otherwise they might misunderstood it and act in way which may affect their physical and mental health. Even though, there are some cons, the advantages of a child knowing about never quitting until succeeding outweights the demerits. I think, if we could teach them clearly about the importance of hard work and never giving up, we would eliminate the negative impacts.
Children
tend to follow everything that they are
told
. In few traditions, young
people
are
frequently
taught that,
working
hard
without quitting can
make
them attain anything.
Personally
, I believe
children
must
be made
aware of all the possibilities for being successful. This essay will
discuss about the
merits and
demrits
of providing
children
the above mentioned message.

First of all
, teaching
children
about
hardwork
will motivate them to try
different
things.
In other words
,
this tend
to
improve
the
possitive
thoughts in
children and
they
might
become an optimist in the future. If they realized that
hardwork
never fails, they would not hesitate about trying again and again.
In addition
,
working
hard
not
only
makes
them active and healthy
but
also
make
them believe in themselves, which is the basic quality of a person who never quits.

On contrary,
frequently
insisting them to try
hard
might
lead them to depression. In fact,
some
children
may go
very
hard
on oneself to the extent that they
might
not even sleep for days.
Consequently
this will lead to huge detrimental effects on their health.
For instance
, few
children
despite studying
hard
failed to
get
good
scores in exams. This is
because
they understood the term
hard
working
in a
very
different
way which made them
think
they should study without taking a break.

To conclude
, it is
important
to teach young
people
the exact way of
hard
working
otherwise
they
might
misunderstood
it and act in way which may affect their physical and mental health.
Even though
, there are
some
cons, the advantages of a child knowing about never quitting until succeeding
outweights
the demerits. I
think
, if we could teach them
clearly
about the importance of
hard
work and never giving up, we would eliminate the
negative
impacts.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that thry can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving the children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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