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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough eNO7
It is always argued that everyone of us will stop using the hardcopy news and books, instead of this, the soft copies of these media will be used. I totally agree that the access of all the hardcopy media will be available online and easy to access by everyone, but the books and newspapers will also remain with maybe a lower demand than it was before. Online reading for books and news is very advantageous, where it can give the access for this media everywhere in anytime. For instance, many of the users of the public transport were seen holding their cell phones reading books. They benefit from their time and from what the technology offers. It is hard to hold 3 or 4 books in your hand wherever you go, but this can be easily done by the aid of the smartphones and tablets. On the other hand, the traditional printed books and newspaper have many fans, a lot of people they used to read that kind of media, thus they can’t satisfy their self until they feel and sense the papers between their hands. For example, my father is used to read the newspaper every morning, that is his routine! Nothing can be done with that. He said he will keep his routine and will never change for the softcopies media. In my opinion, I agree that the vast majority of the people will turn for reading books and newspapers online, but still, there will be some of the people keep their traditional way of reading. In conclusion, the question about the reading in a traditional printed way or online is always in discussion. For sure both has advantages and disadvantages, and from my point of view, the trend will be with the online reading, as the traditional reading way will decrease dramatically in the near future.
It is always argued that
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
of us will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardcopy
news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
instead
of this, the soft copies of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the access of all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardcopy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will be available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and easy to access by everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will
also
remain with maybe a lower demand than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and news is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous, where it can give the access for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
everywhere in anytime.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the users of the public transport were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
holding their cell phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. They benefit from their time and from what the technology offers. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to hold 3 or 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in your hand wherever you go,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can be
easily
done by the aid of the smartphones and tablets.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to read that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
thus
they can’t satisfy their self until they feel and sense the papers between their hands.
For example
, my father is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
every morning,
that is
his routine! Nothing can
be done
with that. He said he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his routine and will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
softcopies
media.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the vast majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will turn for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, there will be
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
way of reading.

In conclusion
, the question about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
printed way or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is always in discussion. For sure both has advantages and disadvantages, and from my point of view, the trend will be with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
way will decrease
dramatically
in the near future.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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