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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries especially in Asia, a lot of children are taught that they can achieve anything if they tried hard enough. This message means a lot to them because they grow by following their parent’s word. In my opinion, this message has taught them to be ambitious and motivated them to get what they want. However, life is not perfect, sometimes too much effort could change into pressure and children might lose their childhood because of their tiredness.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
especially
in Asia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
children
are taught
that they can achieve anything if they tried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This message means a lot to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grow by following their parent’s word. In my opinion, this message has taught them to be ambitious and motivated them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they want.
However
, life is not perfect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
too much effort could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into pressure and children might lose their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their tiredness.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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