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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some societies, children are frequently convinced that they may achieve everything in their life if they show a great effort. Although it sometimes brings frustrations, it is also acknowledged that hard-working children tend to realize their ambitions. This essay will analyse this issue and demonstrate pros and cons of working sufficiently. To commence with, it is widely accepted that children can achieve everything whatever they want through being hard-working. To put it another way, the majority of parents want to see their children as a successful human in the future so in order to motivate youngsters they often talk about the importance of resilience. For instance, when I was a child my parents used to persuade me to study a lot and I was convinced that I will always fail unless working effectively. Therefore, it is considered the best way to achieve our goals which has been told to us in early ages. On the flip side, a school of thought claims that it may end up with frustrations because certain circumstances demand money and chance. There is ample evidence to suggest that in order to obtain a job with a high salary and travel all around the world rely on money. A survey conducted by Baku children health care indicates that children who are excessively hard-working may face disappointments if their dreams might not be realized. Ultimately, all of these are related to disadvantages of trying to work enough. To conclude, children in some cultures are generally told that they can receive success if they demonstrate a high effort. Despite its disappointments, it is widely believed that hard-working children will achieve their goals. As such it can be concluded that people who are working effectively are able to obtain immense success.
In
some
societies,
children
are
frequently
convinced that they may
achieve
everything in their life if they
show
a great effort. Although it
sometimes
brings frustrations, it is
also
acknowledged that
hard-working
children
tend to realize their ambitions. This essay will
analyse
this issue and demonstrate pros and cons of working
sufficiently
.

To commence with, it is
widely
accepted
that
children
can
achieve
everything whatever they want through being
hard-working
. To put it another way, the majority of parents want to
see
their
children
as a successful human in the future
so
in order to motivate youngsters they
often
talk about the importance of resilience.
For instance
, when I was a child my parents
used
to persuade me to study a
lot and
I
was convinced
that I will always fail unless working
effectively
.

Therefore
, it
is considered
the best way to
achieve
our goals which has been
told
to us in early ages.

On the flip side, a school of
thought
claims that it may
end
up with frustrations
because
certain circumstances demand money and chance. There is ample evidence to suggest that in order to obtain a job with a high salary and travel all around the world rely on money. A survey conducted by Baku
children
health care indicates that
children
who are
excessively
hard-working
may face disappointments if their dreams might not
be realized
.
Ultimately
, all of these
are related
to disadvantages of trying to work
enough
.

To conclude
,
children
in
some
cultures are
generally
told
that they can receive success if they demonstrate a high effort. Despite its disappointments, it is
widely
believed that
hard-working
children
will
achieve
their goals.
As
such it can
be concluded
that
people
who are working
effectively
are able to obtain immense success.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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