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In some country few people earn extremely high salary some people think it is good for country. While other think government should control the salaries and limit the amount a person can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion

In some country few people earn extremely high salary some people think it is good for country. While other think government should control the salaries and limit the amount a person can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion Q0L9
Every country has it's own disparate salary criteria and economic structure. Reason to this fact, huge deviation of salary is observed wherein few earn relatively much higher than others. It is considered superior for a country. However, some demands to restrict the amount a individual can earn. Here i will discuss both the perceptions and give my answer. Foremost benefit of high salary is, it is direct fund to government treasury in term of income tax, greater the salary higher the tax and it is a crucial element which runs an economy. Many people aspire for luxurious and modern living so they do toilsome and climb up the scale of salary. This further helps to retain the interest and competition for work. Plethora of people work on double shifts, sometimes do overtime or engage on other part time job in order to get more money and after doing so hardships if they are paid high they deserve it. Another view on this same, people with less salary feel demotivated this effects ones mental well-being. Excessive competition can prove perplexed because people will initiate to work like machines from day to night. Some may get involve in illegal and unlawful fairs. This situation will create abhor and belligerent behaviour in society. Every one will judge the stuff with money or brand and people would really inhibit to appreciate and enjoy what they already have. To recapitulate, I reckon that every single thing is like two side of a same coin. Nevertheless, we should pick the best out of it. High salaries reflect more merits and it vital part for any country’s growth. This fund should induce in betterment of overall nation.
Every country has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disparate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
criteria and economic structure. Reason to this fact, huge deviation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is observed
wherein few earn
relatively
much higher than others. It
is considered
superior for a country.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demands to restrict the amount
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individual can earn. Here
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both the perceptions and give my answer. Foremost benefit of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is, it is direct fund to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
treasury in term of income tax, greater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
higher the tax and it is a crucial element which runs an economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aspire for luxurious and modern living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do toilsome and climb up the scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. This
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to retain the interest and competition for work. Plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work on double shifts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do overtime or engage on other
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more money and after doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
hardships if they
are paid
high they deserve it. Another view on this same,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
feel demotivated this effects ones mental well-being. Excessive competition can prove perplexed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will initiate to work like machines from day to night.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involve in illegal and unlawful fairs. This situation will create abhor and belligerent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in society. Every one will judge the stuff with money or brand and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
really
inhibit to appreciate and enjoy what they already have. To recapitulate, I reckon that every single thing is like two side of a same coin.
Nevertheless
, we should pick the best out of it. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
reflect more merits and
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
vital part for any country’s growth. This fund should induce in betterment of
overall
nation.

IELTS essay In some country few people earn extremely high salary some people think it is good for country. While other think government should control the salaries and limit the amount a person can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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