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In some countries young people of 18 are allowed to do things such as driver car vote get married in other countries they have to be older what do you think is the right age to take on adults responsibilities

In some countries older than eighteen age have permit to do all things. For example, driving, vote and get married but in order countries people believe that young person of eighteen can do all of things. I partially agree young people of 18 can do something and also I want to write my idea in this essay. In some different countries have different culture and people have to do all of them. If that culture are wrong or righ and low and people accepted that. However, in my opinion we have to allow too younger person do many things. Such as driver a car, vote have a job or they can travel alone. as a reason, they can have experience in community and also they will be useful at the future for themselves and society. furthermore, they get ready for having harder responsible in social life. Even we have to open way for younger generation for better future. however young people have peramit do many things in eighteen age but in my opinion for doing some works, they don't have inough experience. for example, if youngers get married around the eighte age, I think they will be some problems in the future. Because of they don't have control a family. In addition maybe they becoming depressed, even that cause social anomalies in the future. In conlousion i believe that, we have to allow to youngers, that they do many thing in the society and also they will be useful country. On the other hand, In my idea, they can't married around eighteen age, because they don't have enough experience.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
older than eighteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have permit to do all things.
For example
, driving, vote and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that young person of eighteen can do
Consider using “all things” or “all of the things”.
all of things
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of 18 can do something and
also
I want to write my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in this essay. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do all of them. If that culture are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
righ
and low and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that.
However
, in my opinion we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
person do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. Such as driver a car, vote have a
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job or
they can travel alone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
as
a reason, they can have experience in community and
also
they will be useful at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for themselves and society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for having harder responsible in social life. Even we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
open way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
however
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
peramit
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in eighteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works, they don't have
Possible spelling mistake found.
inough
experience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married around the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eighte
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Probable usage error. Use “Because they” instead.
Because of they
don't have control a family. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
maybe
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “they’re becoming”, “they are becoming”, or “they were becoming”?
they becoming
depressed, even that cause social anomalies in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlousion
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
, that they do
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: “many things”.
many thing
in the society and
also
they will be useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
On the other hand
, In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, they can't
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
married
around eighteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience.
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IELTS essay In some countries young people of 18 are allowed to do things such as driver car vote get married in other countries they have to be older what do you think is the right age to take on adults responsibilities

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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