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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. laDQ
In most countries young generation is involved for job or trip during a year among finishing high school and beginning university researches. Firstly, this essay will discuss advantages of traveling and working just after graduating high school, and secondly will show disadvantages of the same idea. On the one hand, after finishing people need to be out regular routine in order to reenergize. If they act so for a period, they will be happy and it will also lead to immense contribution to their career. People sometimes feel tired after doing monotone activity. If they start their university studies just after finishing high school they will not be successful in their academic years and have no desire to be busy with science. For example, a research in 2019 in the Phillippines reported that, traveling for some reasons is significantly beneficial for young people. On the other hand, after finishing high school, cons for visiting some places or working anywhere is inevitable nowadays. If they continue their education and to be involved to other fields, they are getting out of their career and fail in their education experience. Even they can forget knowledge that they learned during their high school years. To travel and to work for a period will influence them negatively, because they can easily accustomed to job or journey. So they can fed up education because of less practice. For instance, according to 2019 survey in America, it had experineced that young people can not be successful in their education life because they have no enough information about their branch. In conclusion, people can significantly benefit from the advantages of working and traveling after they graduate their high school, while there are some disadvantages such as to lose their earlier education skills and to be passive after long-termed emission.
In most countries young generation
is involved
for job or trip during a year among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and beginning university researches.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss advantages of traveling and working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and
secondly
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
disadvantages of the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be out regular routine in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reenergize
. If they act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for a period, they will be happy and it will
also
lead to immense contribution to their career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
feel tired after doing monotone activity. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their university studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they will not be successful in their academic years and have no desire to be busy with science.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
in 2019 in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phillippines
reported that, traveling for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons is
significantly
beneficial for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, cons for visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places or working anywhere is inevitable nowadays. If they continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and to
be involved
to other fields, they are getting out of their career and fail in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
experience. Even they can forget knowledge that they learned during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years. To travel and to work for a period will influence them
negatively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
easily
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "accustom"
accustomed
to job or journey.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "feed"
fed
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less practice.
For instance
, according to 2019 survey in America, it had
Possible spelling mistake found.
experineced
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not be successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information about their branch.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
significantly
benefit from the advantages of working and traveling after they graduate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as to lose their earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to be passive after long-termed emission.
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IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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