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In some countries young people are encouraged to work and travel

In some countries young people are encouraged to work and travel nRJXo
There are a number of countries where young generations are inspired to work or travel for a gap year between graduating from high school and beginning university studies. Consequently, there are a number of pros and cons of working and travelling. In this essay, I will explain beneficial and adverse aspects of young people who prefer to do this. Lets looking at the advantages of working in graduated pupils are that first, nobody knows they will get into university to grand. If they enter university as contract, they will ought to pay for it. In this case, if they work and earn abundance money to pay for their contract, they will probably not face with financial problems. Secondly, working in student's life is another benefit. What I mean by this is that they might gain more experiences by doing their job. In addition, travelling is usually beneficial for young people. This is due to the fact that they can acquire a great deal of information about other countries educational system and exchange some ideas with people who live there and want to study at university. Furthermore, during travelling, they may learn a foreign language. In fact, knowing another country language can help them to get into university. The reason that a plethora of universities have some compulsory subjects for entrance of university and language takes in first place. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of getting a job visiting other countries in students period. One of the most disadvantages is that if they pay more attention for working than studying, they will definitely fail their exams for entrance of university. As a result, they can lose their aspirations and continue to work. What is more, if they travel, they can waste their time instead of preparing for exams, and they have little time for preparation. All in all, as you can be seen from the points made in this essay, there are both merits and demerits of working and travelling between finishing school and starting university studies. Personally, I think we have to prioritize commitment to enter university.
There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where young generations
are inspired
to work or travel for a gap year between graduating from high school and beginning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies.
Consequently
, there are a number of pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
beneficial and adverse aspects of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer to do this.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lets
looking at the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in graduated pupils are that
first
, nobody knows they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to grand. If they enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as contract, they will ought to pay for it.
In this case
, if they work and earn abundance money to pay for their contract, they will
probably
not face with financial problems.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in student's life is another benefit. What I mean by this is that they might gain more experiences by doing their job.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is
usually
beneficial for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This is due to the fact that
they can acquire a great deal of information about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
educational system and exchange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there and want to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Furthermore
, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, they may learn a foreign language. In fact, knowing another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
language can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The reason that a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compulsory subjects for entrance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and language takes in
first
place.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of getting a job visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in students period. One of the most disadvantages is that if they pay more attention for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
than studying, they will definitely fail their exams for entrance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
As a result
, they can lose their aspirations and continue to work.
What is more
, if they travel, they can waste their time
instead
of preparing for exams, and they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time for preparation.

All in all, as you can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the points made in this essay, there are both merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
between finishing school and starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prioritize commitment to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
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IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work and travel

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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