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In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. VJwQ
In modern counties, the medium weight of people is rising, that’s why people’s health and physical condition are reduced. In this essay will discuss the main problems associated with increasing weight and suggest a viable solution. The principal problems related to the skyrocketing of weight are that the declining of health and physical state. Which means, overweight causes deterioration of health and fitness. As a result, a lot of people are being lazy and then they sit in their homes without wanting to do anything or without leaving the house. For example, One of the my brothers is John. He has a lot of excess weight. He only eats and sleeps everyday, does nothing. That’s why, One day, he became seriously ill because of the increasing his weight. A solution to this worrying problem is reducing of fatty foods and fast-foods such as hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza and others. If we stop to eating certain amount of food which is fatty foods harmful to health, we may maintain our health and keeping fit. My brother’s John used this method and he achieved a good result. For instance, nowadays he has lost some weight and lost the sebaceous glands in his heart. For the above result, I always choose this way for losing weight. In conclusion, it is true that many people are having problems with weight and health conditions these days. The problems are mostly caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and there are several things that people could do to fix the problems. They should be more selective in choosing their diets and they should avoid certain types of unhealthy foods.
In modern counties, the medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is rising, that’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and physical condition are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. In this essay will discuss the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and suggest a viable solution. The principal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to the skyrocketing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
are that the declining of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and physical state. Which means, overweight causes deterioration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and fitness.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
then they sit in their homes without wanting to do anything or without leaving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
For example
, One of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my brothers" or "the brothers"?
the my brothers
is John. He has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eats and sleeps
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, does nothing. That’s why, One day, he became
seriously
ill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. A solution to this worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is reducing of fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-foods such as hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to eating certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, we may maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and keeping fit. My brother’s John
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
method and
he achieved a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result.
For instance
, nowadays he has lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and lost the sebaceous glands in his heart. For the above result, I always choose this way for losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
In conclusion
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions these days. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
mostly
caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and there are several things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. They should be more selective in choosing their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diets and
they should avoid certain types of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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