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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? PVEWJ
It is currently the trend that a number of people tend to buy their own accommodation instead of to rent one. In this essay, the factors contributing to the phenomenon will be discussed, followed by influences. Firstly, financial concern is the main element for individuals as they consider having an ownership for home. According to the statistic data from well-known research, the total of renting a house for forty years is higher than that of owning one by a double price on average. Additionally, renting home form others is with the high risk which is associated human’s body conditions. Unlike youths, the elderly is with the highly potential to be refused when renting. Because the physical concerns such as death in renting place, the owner would decline people who are older than sixty years old to ask for renting. In terms of benefit of having an ownership of home, it brings some positive emotions for the owner. Compared with renting a living space, having a own one does not have to worry about the landlord would ask to leave. It increase satisfaction and safety. However, owning a home is with drawbacks at the same time. Price of accommodations would be risen if people bought them as the trend. Some people may have difficulty affording the sored price of home, especially for the low-paid. In conclusion, the reasons leading to having ownership of home include individual’s financial concern and consideration of body conditions. In my opinion, although the trend brings merit, its demerit seems to lead the severe consequence for society since people purchase living space without any limitation. Thus, government should arrange the policies to avoid in advance.
It is
currently
the trend that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accommodation
instead
of to rent one. In this essay, the factors contributing to the phenomenon will
be discussed
, followed by influences.

Firstly
, financial concern is the main element for individuals as they consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an ownership for home. According to the statistic data from well-known research, the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for forty years is higher than that of owning one by a double price on average.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
home form others is with the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
which
is associated
human’s body conditions. Unlike youths, the elderly is with the
highly
potential to
be refused
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the physical concerns such as death in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
place, the owner would decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are older than sixty years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
renting.

In terms of benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an ownership of home, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
emotions for the owner. Compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a living space,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the landlord would ask to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. It
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
satisfaction and safety.
However
, owning a home is with drawbacks at the same time. Price of accommodations would
be risen
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them as the trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have difficulty affording the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sored
price of home,
especially
for the low-paid.

In conclusion
, the reasons leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
ownership of home include individual’s financial concern and consideration of body conditions. In my opinion, although the trend brings merit, its demerit seems to lead the severe consequence for society since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
living space without any limitation.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should arrange the policies to avoid in advance.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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