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In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweight the problems?

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. RqxQ
Purchasing products from overseas is now feasible for a growing number of people. In my opinion, this trend has many advantages although it may cause some pollution to our environment. Access to foreign products would force local companies to produce higher quality products due to a relatively more competitive environment. When there are no products from other countries, local citizens suffer from limited choices and they may not find products that satisfy their real needs. Further, they even have to buy some products of low quality because it is difficult for them to find substitutes. In contrast, if people there are permitted to purchase foreign products, they would have much more choices and they also do not have to buy low-quality products so that local producers would have to improve their products to survive in the market. Thus, the introduction of foreign products can promote the quality of local products. Another advantage is that foreign products can be supplementary to the local market. For example, North Korea does not develop its industries with balance, which contributes to the consequence that its people suffer from famine. And the goods like grains from China can alleviate the food shortage of North Korea. Thus, its market becomes more abundant with the aid of foreign products. On the other hand, introducing foreign products can cause severe environmental problems due to their transportation. Transporting these products from a country to another country requires planes, ships, and trucks. They would produce tons of pollutants that may enter the atmosphere, the sea, and the soil. And the air we breathe, the fish we eat, the vegetables we harvest would be polluted, which may affect our health. In conclusion, introducing products of other counties can enhance the living standard of people although it may cause some pollution to the environment.
Purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from overseas is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
feasible for a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages although it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pollution to our environment.

Access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
would force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to produce higher quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to a
relatively
more competitive environment. When there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from other countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens suffer from limited
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choices and
they may not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that satisfy their real needs.
Further
, they even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of low quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult for them to find substitutes.
In contrast
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there
are permitted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they would have much more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choices and
they
also
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
low-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to survive in the market.
Thus
, the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can promote the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products.

Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be supplementary to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market.
For example
, North Korea does not develop its industries with balance, which contributes to the consequence that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from famine. And the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
like grains from China can alleviate the food shortage of North Korea.
Thus
, its market becomes more abundant with the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
products.

On the other hand
, introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can cause severe environmental problems due to their transportation. Transporting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from a country to another country requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, ships, and trucks. They would produce tons of pollutants that may enter the atmosphere, the sea, and the soil. And the air we breathe, the fish we eat, the vegetables we harvest would
be polluted
, which may affect our health.

In conclusion
, introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of other counties can enhance the living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
although it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pollution to the environment.
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The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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