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Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. 1Klq
People have different opinions about living places. Certain people like to live in the country area while others choose to stay in the city centre. Each place offers its own benefits and drawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in detail. On the one hand, a group of people prefer to live in the city centre because they believe that there are a lot of benefits living in the area. It is a fact that the city offers various kinds of facilities, such as shopping malls, universities, cinemas, hospitals and restaurants, therefore it would not be difficult for the city’s residents in finding education centres, foods or entertainments. Cities offer more job opportunities as most of the companies and industries are situated there. Apart from that, there are certain facilities that are present only in city areas like amusement parks, large shopping malls, better schools etc. However, living in the city has some negative sides as well. The common drawbacks are that the crime and air pollution rate in the city are commonly higher than the rural area. Therefore some people choose to move out of the city centre. On the other hand, some people think that the best place to live is in the rural area. It is believed that people who live in these areas have a healthier life because they breathe fresher air, they eat more hygienic and natural fruits and vegetables and they live in a more relaxed and quite environment. As a result, their life expectancy is longer than those who live in cities or towns. Despite its positive sides, living in remote areas have some disadvantages. Several people found that the quality of education in these areas is left behind, while others feel that it is hard for them to develop their careers, therefore they choose to move to big cities. In conclusion, living in the city or the countryside has its own positive and negative sides, and it depends on the preference of each individual. I personally choose to live in the city area to enhance my career and plan to live in the countryside when I retire.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
places. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to stay in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. Each place offers its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in detail.

On the one hand, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. It is a fact that the city offers various kinds of facilities, such as shopping malls, universities, cinemas, hospitals and restaurants,
therefore
it would not be difficult for the city’s residents in finding education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, foods or entertainments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
offer more job opportunities as most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industries
are situated
there. Apart from that, there are certain facilities that are present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
like amusement parks, large shopping malls, better schools etc.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides
as well
. The common drawbacks are that the crime and air pollution rate in the city are
commonly
higher than the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have a healthier life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they breathe fresher air, they eat more hygienic and natural fruits and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
vegetables and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a more relaxed and quite environment.
As a result
, their life expectancy is longer than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or towns. Despite its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
found that the quality of education in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind, while others feel that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to develop their careers,
therefore
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city or the countryside has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, and it depends on the preference of each individual. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to enhance my career and plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the countryside when I retire.
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Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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