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In some countries it can be very difficult for people over the age 50 to get good jobs despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve this problems.

In some countries it can be very difficult for people over the age 50 to get good jobs despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve this problems. pd1d
One of the problems which occurred in humanity every century is wanting to get rid of older people when they do not need them. It is not a surprise when we see people of a certain age group especially who are over 50 years, it's hard for them to find even having a great experience in their curriculum vitae. In this essay, we will discuss the root cause of this problem and the steps to overcome this issue. I think the major and biggest reason for this problem is the mentality which we have toward the older people. We always tend to believe that old people are not good for jobs where they need to work physically. Going further, there are numerous reasons behind this thinking, for example, we know that it's hard for them to work at a pace which matches to their younger friends. Moreover, they are to more likely to have a muscle-related injury because of their age. However, we always forgot that they have expertise in a job which they are doing from past 10, 20 or 30 years, that means for them the probability to do the thing right in first chance is high. Additionally, they are less likely to injured from a job which they already know. Obviously, companies should make a department where they only hire elder people for their guidance. The government should also step in to save numerous kind of jobs in various industries for this age group of people, where they can utilise their experience. In the conclusion, I would like to say that, without a doubt, the above mention points definitely help us in resolving this issue. Apart from this wee also need to change our minds about their age and need to think about their experience whenever we hire them.
One of the problems which occurred in humanity every century
The verb 'wanting' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is wanting
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
them. It is not a surprise when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a certain age group
especially
who are over 50 years, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to find even having a great experience in their curriculum vitae. In this essay, we will discuss the root cause of this problem and the steps to overcome this issue.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the major and biggest reason for this problem is the mentality which we have toward the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We always tend to believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to work
physically
. Going
further
, there are numerous reasons behind this thinking,
for example
, we know that it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to work at a pace which matches to their younger friends.
Moreover
, they are to more likely to have a muscle-related injury
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their age.

However
, we always forgot that they have expertise in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which they are doing from past 10, 20 or 30 years, that means for them the probability to do the thing right in
first
chance is high.
Additionally
, they are less likely to injured from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which they already know.

Obviously
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a department where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hire elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their guidance. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
step in to save numerous kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in various industries for this age group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, where they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their experience.

In the conclusion, I would like to say that, without a doubt, the above mention points definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in resolving this issue. Apart from this wee
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our minds about their age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their experience whenever we hire them.

IELTS essay In some countries it can be very difficult for people over the age 50 to get good jobs despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve this problems.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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