Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products . Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? gQm7
Nowadays, companies are using much verities of techniques and strategies in-order to promote their product. Meanwhile, in certain countries some of the fast food restaurants and supermarkets are donating money to school as a promotion to their product. However, in my opinion it is a positive development since, institutions can make use of this money on the development of infrastructure or for some other useful things. To begin with, some times institutions have to depend on other sources for funds to meet their requirements. To elaborate, along with the developing world schools has to develop their infrastructure and basic facilities for comfert and convenience of pupils and this might cost alot of money. Thus on situations like this organisations like fast food restaurans and super markets can help them. Moreover it does no involve any risk as they are only expecting the promotion of their company. For instance, some of the college festivals in Karnataka nowadays are sponsored by organizations such as restaurants and supermarkets and the are getting a good promotion with this as well. On the other hand younger generation is greatly influenced by fastfood nowadays and promotion of this kind of thing in schools may make them more attracted towards such habits. To be precise, if schools and collegea are prmoting fast foods students might take it as a positive attitude and this will escalate the consumption of fast food among them. For example, a survay conducted by an health care institue in Newsland found thatadvertisements caused the consumption of junk food to rose among children To conclude, accepting money from different companies like fast food restaurants and supermarkets is a positive view since institutions can make use of this money for the development of different aspects. Meanwhile, an advertisement from the side institutions may result consumption of more fast food among pupils.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
verities of techniques and strategies in-order to promote their product. Meanwhile, in certain countries
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants and supermarkets are donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as a promotion to their product.
However
, in my opinion it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development since, institutions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the development of infrastructure or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other useful things.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on other sources for funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their requirements. To elaborate, along with the developing world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
develop their infrastructure and basic facilities for
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfert
and convenience of pupils and this might cost
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
on situations like this
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Possible spelling mistake found.
restaurans
and super markets can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it does
Did you mean "not"?
no
involve any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
expecting the promotion of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
college festivals in Karnataka nowadays
are sponsored
by
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
such as restaurants and supermarkets and
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
promotion with this
as well
.

On the other hand
younger generation is
greatly
influenced by
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
nowadays and promotion of this kind of thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more attracted towards such habits. To be precise, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
collegea
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
prmoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
students might take it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude and this will escalate the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
among them.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
survay
conducted by
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
health care
Possible spelling mistake found.
institue
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newsland
found
Possible spelling mistake found.
thatadvertisements
caused the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to rose among
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children


To conclude
, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants and supermarkets is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view since institutions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects. Meanwhile, an advertisement from the side institutions may result consumption of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
among pupils.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts