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IN RECENT YEARS, MANY SMALL LOCAL SHOPS HAVE CLOSED BECAUSAE CUSTOMERS TRAVEL TO LARGE SHOPPING CENTRES OR MALLS TO DO THEIR SHOPPING. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

IN RECENT YEARS, MANY SMALL LOCAL SHOPS HAVE CLOSED BECAUSAE CUSTOMERS TRAVEL TO LARGE SHOPPING CENTRES OR MALLS TO DO THEIR SHOPPING. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT? kYYbe
Considering the current trends of people choosing to go to mall or ther big shoping centers, it is vital to take into account the positive and negative development it causes. In this essay, I will put forward my view point in the against of this trend and explain the reason behind it. One of the pressing consequences of this trend, is the unbearable economic loss of the local community. Since the customers are diverting themselves to the shoping complexes, in this way they have lessen the sale of the local shops. Consequently, these shop will have to close down because of the loss of sale. Thus, creating a money crunch situation in the community. Another negative development of this trend, is the rise of unemployemnet. With the people going to malls, the shops closes down, there will be a sitation where owners of shop and even the workers who work inside the local shops, have to laid off permanently. Resulting in, rise of poverty, which brings along the crime activity in the area. Thus, unemployment and security issues both coe in hand if the people not invest in local shops. In conclusion, loss of economy and rise of poverty at the local community level, is few of the many negative development. To my mind, rise of mall culture will bring havoc to their community itself directly and indirectly.
Considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to go to mall or
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoping
centers, it is vital to take into account the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development it causes. In this essay, I will put forward my view point in the against of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason behind it.

One of the pressing consequences of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, is the unbearable economic loss of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community. Since the customers are diverting themselves to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoping
complexes, in this way they have
Use past participle here: "lessened".
lessen
the sale of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the loss of sale.
Thus
, creating a money crunch situation in the community.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployemnet
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to malls, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
closes down, there will be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sitation
where owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and even the workers who work inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
laid off
permanently
. Resulting in,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of poverty, which brings along the crime activity in the area.
Thus
, unemployment and security issues both
Possible spelling mistake found.
coe
in hand if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops.

In conclusion
, loss of economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of poverty at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community level, is few of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. To my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of mall culture will bring havoc to their community itself
directly
and
indirectly
.
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IELTS essay IN RECENT YEARS, MANY SMALL LOCAL SHOPS HAVE CLOSED BECAUSAE CUSTOMERS TRAVEL TO LARGE SHOPPING CENTRES OR MALLS TO DO THEIR SHOPPING. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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