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Holding International games such as the Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Holding International games such as the Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money. r88Ko
Olympic games have created the environment of competition over the world and countries have started to host Olympic games frequently, I think positive effects rather that it has more positive effects rather than just wasting money. This paragraph will shows how holding Olympic games can cause positive effects to country. The country which hosts those Olympic game can get more appreciation from other countries to organize and manage such a big event like this. Moreover, it can help to make better relationships with with other countries in future. Also the players from other nation and staff will be staying during the period of games and can learn about culture of country also attract the foreign money. This paragraph will shed some light negative sides of holding Olympic Games, Sometime country has to cancel event because of certain reason due to this all the money which is invested by country to manage it will be in vain so it is one of the negative side of it for country. Nevertheless, Olympic games has developed a good environment for competition and increase their performance in every game and it is an opportunity that every country should get. I conclude that, Olympic games give best benefits and effects to one country and instead of ignoring it country should always try to seek opportunity to hold the same.
Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have created the environment of competition over the world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to host Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
frequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
rather


that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting money.

This paragraph will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "show"
shows
how holding Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which hosts those Olympic game can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more appreciation from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to organize and manage such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like this.
Moreover
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better relationships
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the players from other nation and staff will be staying during the period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and

can learn about culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
attract the foreign money.

This paragraph will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of holding Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
, Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cancel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain reason due to this all the money which
is invested
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to manage it will be in vain

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of it for country.

Nevertheless
, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has developed a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for competition and increase their performance in every game and it is an opportunity that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. I conclude that, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
give best benefits and effects to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
instead
of ignoring it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should always try to seek opportunity to hold the same.
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IELTS essay Holding International games such as the Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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