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In our society, there is far more attention on men's sport than women's sport. What are the reasons for this? Do you think that this is positive or negative development?

In our society, there is far more attention on men's sport than women's sport. What are the reasons for this? Do you think that this is positive or negative development? 7l73
In our place of living, there is more consideration on male sports as compared to female ones. There is a reason for this which I will discuss in this essay, and I think this is a negative development. Masculine sports are considered the priority in our nation, and female sports are undermined. Because, we are living in a patriarchal society, male dominance is prevailing vastly. That’s why women do not get a chance to take part in sports. In short, if they luckily get a chance, they do not get much value as compared to their male counterparts. For example, the population in our nation is a lot conservative, and this trend is coming from our ancestors which not even decline till now. So, these are some reasons that male get more importance in sports than females. In my opinion, this is a negative development. This leads to demotivation in females, and they get into complexity. As a result, this triggers stress factors in women that it is their right too to play, and they do not receive them. For instance, an interview study was conducted in the male-dominant world by well-known researchers of Pakistan, they found out that this leads to a decline in the health ratio of women, and the proportion of committing suicide was well- noticed in the female gender due to this discrimination. That’s the reason I think that this is a negative development. In conclusion, the male dominance factor is a major factor of less-consideration towards women’s sports, and this leads to negative development because it affects the health of women also a deliberate increase in suicides.
In our place of living, there is more consideration on male
sports
as compared to
female
ones. There is a reason for this which I will discuss in this essay, and I
think
this is a
negative
development.

Masculine
sports
are considered
the priority in our nation, and
female
sports
are undermined
.
Because
, we are living in a patriarchal society, male dominance is prevailing
vastly
. That’s why
women
do not
get
a chance to
take part
in
sports
. In short, if they luckily
get
a chance, they do not
get
much value as compared to their male counterparts.
For example
, the population in our nation is a lot conservative, and this trend is coming from our ancestors which not even decline till
now
.
So
, these are
some
reasons that male
get
more importance in
sports
than females.

In my opinion, this is a
negative
development. This leads to
demotivation
in
females
, and they
get
into complexity.
As a result
, this triggers
stress
factors in
women
that it is their right too to play, and they do not receive them.
For instance
, an interview study
was conducted
in the male-dominant world by well-known researchers of Pakistan, they found out that this leads to a decline in the health ratio of
women
, and the proportion of committing suicide was well- noticed in the
female
gender due to this discrimination. That’s the reason I
think
that this is a
negative
development.

In conclusion
, the male dominance factor is a major factor of less-consideration towards
women’s
sports
, and this leads to
negative
development
because
it affects the health of
women
also
a deliberate increase in suicides.
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IELTS essay In our society, there is far more attention on men's sport than women's sport. What are the reasons for this? Do you think that this is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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