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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In my country, young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young.

Nowadays, many people think that we are the worst generation. But I completely disagree with that. Firstly, we have the freedom to choose what we want, not our parents. When our parents graduated from school, their parents used to choose their university, career and who they should love too. Their opinions were ignored, but if they will try to resist, it was consider a shame. And worst of all, it was completely normal. But now, youth is trying to be whoever they want. Another point to consider is the young generation is more tolerant. Since there are mainly Muslims in Kyrgyzstan, the older generation considers other religions to be disgraceful. Young people today are much more accepting differences in race, religion and ethnicity. They are not afraid to marry in a different community or class. Because youth understood that only thing that matters are people. In conclusion, all things considered, today’s generation lives much better than our parents did they were young. Despite, the older generation believe that we are the worst generation.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we are the worst generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I completely disagree with that.

Firstly
, we have the freedom to choose what we want, not our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. When our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
graduated from school, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to choose their university, career and who they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
too. Their opinions were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they will try to resist, it was
Consider using either the past participle “considered” or the present participle “considering” here.
consider
a shame. And worst of all, it was completely normal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, youth is trying to be whoever they want.

Another point to consider is the young generation is more tolerant. Since there are
mainly
Muslims in Kyrgyzstan, the older generation considers other religions to be disgraceful. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are much more accepting differences in race, religion and ethnicity. They are not afraid to marry in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
community or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
youth understood that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that matters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, all things considered,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
much better than our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
did they were young. Despite, the older generation believe that we are the worst generation.
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IELTS essay In my country, young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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