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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Several studies over the years show that a lot of our personality traits and development are affected more by the characteristics that we are born with than the experiences of our lives. Although this may hold true for upto a certain level, it is arguable to comment whether they are more influential or not. It is true that the characteristics gained at birth are deep rooted. The qualities accrued by a child in a mother's womb are the main cause for this. These may be referred to as Genes or impression. These, according to science and many cultures, define the qualities of an individual. He/She tends to pick up most of his development during pregnancy. In fact, the Indian Vedic Science claims to attribute an individual's growth in life in all aspects to the pregnancy, that is pre and post natal period of upto 2 years. Despite the above arguments, I believe the contrary. A person's personality, character, nature and behavior are a sum total of many factors. Firstly, the upbringing of a child defines what qualities he picks up. During his formative years, the education he gets and the environment at his home impacts significantly on his development. As he grows up, his company in terms of the friends he has, and the peers or colleagues too contribute quite a bit. This then defines his lifestyle and habits. Subsequently, his personality reflects his entire life's experiences. If one is not happy with this, he may also be able to change them using conscious efforts and techniques such as the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Thus, it is undeniable that some qualities are instilled by birth, however, in my opinion, life encounters and consequences are majorly accountable for one's personality and development.
Several studies over the years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
traits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
more by the characteristics that we
are born
with than the experiences of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although this may hold true for
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
a certain level, it is arguable to comment whether they are more influential or not.

It is true that the characteristics gained at birth are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
deep rooted
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
accrued by a child in a mother's womb are the main cause for this. These may
be referred
to as Genes or impression. These, according to science and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures, define the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of an individual. He/She tends to pick up most of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
during pregnancy. In fact, the Indian Vedic Science claims to attribute an individual's growth in life in all aspects to the pregnancy,
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
post natal
period of
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
2 years.

Despite the above arguments, I believe the contrary. A person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
, character, nature and behavior are a sum total of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors.
Firstly
, the upbringing of a child defines what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
he picks up. During his formative years, the education he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
and the environment at his home impacts
significantly
on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. As he grows up, his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in terms of the friends he has, and the peers or colleagues
Did you mean “to contribute”?
too contribute
quite a bit. This then defines his lifestyle and habits.
Subsequently
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
reflects his entire life's experiences. If one is not happy with this, he may
also
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
them using conscious efforts and techniques such as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neuro
Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Thus
, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
are instilled
by birth,
however
, in my opinion, life encounters and consequences are
majorly
accountable for one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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