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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really don't need some say that advertisements tell us about new product's that may be important discuss both views and give your opininon

Nowadays advertisements are playing important role in sales of products so people start buying things even they they don't required. On the other hand it give information about new things I think people are compelled more for purchasing items un need item below I will discuss both views Advertisements played on the TV are giving a power to man to buy un necessary thing as for example new add in between a movie is played so people become aware of product shown in the add so they come in Contact the company to buy it as soon as possible they start desiring for it as it is shown in very good quality on screen they are just impressed by its aesthetic beauty so they order it in no time. However when it is delivered to clients it's not like that as shown on screen so it was just wastage of money so they are just showing off their product to attract customers as they are not of good quality so disappointing clients also the thing will be useless However some people view is that advertising products provide important information about new thing that is also a positive point. Individuals become aware of new thing which they don't know about before for instance a new company advertising about new washing powder introduces having less price and efficient working capacity so more and more people aware of the specific brand so they start buying it as it is convenient for them in this way more and more people know about new things however this approach leads to waste of money also as individual start purchasing different brand to try which one best in this way to achieve results. Lastly it is only compelling people to buy things that's actually they don't needThis essay has discussed both views about advertisements although both view have merits but in my conclusions advertisements are just compelling people to waste money on buying unwanted thing that has demerits
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are playing
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important
role in sales of
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products
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so
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
buying things even
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
don't required.
On the other hand
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “gives”.
give
information about
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new
things I
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think
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people
are compelled
more for purchasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
items un
need item below I will discuss both
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views
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
played on the TV are giving a power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
necessary thing as
for example
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new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in between a movie is
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
played
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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people
become aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
shown in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
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so
they
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come
in Contact the
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company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it as
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soon
as possible they
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start
desiring for it as it
is shown
in
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality on screen they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
impressed by its aesthetic beauty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they order it in no time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
when it
is delivered
to clients it's not like that as shown on screen
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so
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wastage of money
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so
they are
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just
showing off their
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product
to attract customers as they are not of
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good
quality
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so
disappointing clients
also
the thing will be useless
However
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some
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people
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view
is that advertising
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products
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information about
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new
thing
that is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point. Individuals become aware of
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new
thing which they don't know about
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before
for instance
a
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new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
advertising about
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new
washing powder introduces having less price and efficient working capacity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more and more
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people
aware of the specific brand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
buying it as it is convenient for them in this way more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things
however
this approach leads to waste of money
also
as individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
purchasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brand to try which one best in this way to achieve results.
Lastly
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that's actually they don't
Possible spelling mistake found.
needThis
essay has discussed both
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views
about
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advertisements
although both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
have merits
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but
in my conclusions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to waste money on buying unwanted thing that has
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
demerits
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really don't need some say that advertisements tell us about new product's that may be important discuss both views and give your opininon

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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