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In most countries, multicultural companies and their products become more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, multicultural companies and their products become more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. ODMy
Many people believe that the ever-increasing importance of international companies and their items is deteriorating our well-being living standard. Although there are still some disagreements, I firmly opine that this sentiment has its merits. On the one hand, international companies usually provide outstanding goods compared to domestic ones in several aspects such as appearance and qualification. This can be explained by the fact that that a taxed foreign commodity needs to be extraordinary enough to attract native consumers in a market where domestic merchandises are prevalent. For instance, Starbuck introduces a new beverage line almost monthly following seasonal fruit and special occasions. At the same time, the national business would tend to ameliorate their products and services for competing purposes. Hence, this tendency can improve the gratification and create multiple choices for the customers. On the other hand, there are many drawbacks when powerful multinational companies invade local markets with their goods. It is apparent that low labor cost is one of the most important criteria the multinational companies consider when penetrating the market of a developing country. As workers in these nations are frequently assumed to be less professional than their peers in developed countries, the business can take advantage of this belief to scantily pay their staff, thereby hampering the income of native laborers. Particularly, this phenomenon leads to significant discrimination and underestimation in the work productivity of poor countries. Furthermore, people can become more vulnerable to their host companies’ decisions. Once the firm decides to move its production facilities to another country, vast employees will turn to be unemployed. In conclusion, the importance of multinational companies and their supplies can cause adverse effects on both moral and practical values. Therefore, I assent to this belief
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the ever-increasing importance of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and their items is deteriorating our well-being living standard. Although there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements, I
firmly
opine that this sentiment has its merits. On the one hand, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
usually
provide outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
compared to domestic ones in several aspects such as appearance and qualification. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
a taxed foreign commodity needs to be extraordinary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to attract native consumers in a market where domestic merchandises are prevalent.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Starbuck
introduces a new beverage line almost monthly following seasonal fruit and special occasions. At the same time, the national business would tend to ameliorate their products and services for competing purposes.
Hence
, this tendency can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the gratification and create multiple choices for the customers.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks when powerful multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
invade local markets with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. It is apparent that low labor cost is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
criteria the multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
consider when penetrating the market of a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As workers in these nations are
frequently
assumed to be less professional than their peers in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the business can take advantage of this belief to
scantily
pay their staff, thereby hampering the income of native laborers.
Particularly
, this phenomenon leads to significant discrimination and underestimation in the work productivity of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can become more vulnerable to their host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
decisions. Once the firm decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
its production facilities to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, vast employees will turn to
be unemployed
.

In conclusion
, the importance of multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and their supplies can cause adverse effects on both moral and practical values.
Therefore
, I assent to this belief
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IELTS essay In most countries, multicultural companies and their products become more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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