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In many parts of the world, water sources are becoming more polluted. discuss the problems and the solutions?

Nowadays, pollution is the biggest concern all over the world, and mainly the water is polluting more and more day by day. There are many problems associated with this issue. However, some measures are taken then it is easy to mitigate it in the coming future, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, the main problem is the worst effect on human health, that's happening because of a shortage of pure water. Many people suffering from diseases, such as, cholera and typhoid. In fact, it caused 1. 10 million people die in 2017, according to a study published in the 'Health Organization'. The second major demerits are extinct of marine life. Water pollution causes algae to bloom in a lake, river, and other sources of water, and when algae growth, it's become the reason of reduce the oxygen levels in the water. This dearth of Oxygen suffocates marine plants and animals and creates the 'dead zones'. Therefore, it is crucial to take some steps to resolve it, and the possible solutions are given further. However, there are a number of solutions available to prevent this issue. Firstly, If the government makes some strict rules and takes some penalty against them who are responsible to pollute water, then help to reduce pollution dramatically. Another one is that, If the industries should take some action, such as, after purifying wastewater is released into the river, then it's the best solution to mitigate it. Hence, for reducing water pollution, it is easy to take some steps. In conclusion, although water pollution is the biggest issue for human health and marine life, by taking some preventative measures it is possible to reduce it.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the biggest concern all over the world, and
mainly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is polluting more and more day by day. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems associated with this issue.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures
are taken
then it is easy to mitigate it in the coming future, which will

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
be
discussed in the following paragraphs.

First
and foremost, the main problem is the worst effect on human health, that's happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a shortage of pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from diseases, such as, cholera and typhoid. In fact, it caused 1. 10 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in 2017, according to a study published in the 'Health Organization'. The second major demerits are extinct of marine life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
causes algae to bloom in a lake, river, and other sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, and when algae growth, it's become the reason of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the oxygen levels in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. This dearth of Oxygen suffocates marine plants and animals and creates the 'dead zones'.
Therefore
, it is crucial to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to resolve it, and the possible solutions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
further
.

However
, there are a number of solutions available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this issue.
Firstly
, If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
penalty against them who are responsible to pollute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
dramatically
. Another one is that, If the industries should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action, such as, after purifying wastewater
is released
into the river, then it's the best solution to mitigate it.
Hence
, for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution,

it is easy to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the biggest issue for human health and marine life, by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
preventative measures it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world, water sources are becoming more polluted. discuss the problems and the solutions?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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